Updated February 14th, 2024

‘A Sacred and Blessed Calling’ – Managing Life As a Caregiver

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Managing Life As a Caregiver

When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, or another serious illness, and they need help caring for themselves, it may be your job as a loved one to step into the role of caregiver.
Pastor Tom Evans of the Brick Presbyterian Church has some words of advice to all in the role of caregiver: "Just remember that you can't care for someone else properly unless you're strong. So don't hesitate to find those times."
As a caregiver, you're offering the person you're caring for "something sacred and profound" at a point in their life when they are most in need.

The unsung heroes of the medical world are caregivers. When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer or another serious illness and can’t care for themselves, as a loved one, it may be your job to step into that role of caregiver.

Watching someone you love go through cancer is difficult enough as it is, so if you add being a caregiver on top of that, it’s possible you may have mixed emotions, Tom Evans, pastor of the Brick Presbyterian Church located in the Carnegie Hill neighborhood of New York City, tells SurvivorNet.

“When you find yourself suddenly having to care for somebody, to be the primary lifeline for them, you very well could have mixed emotions,” he says.

“Maybe it’s anger. Maybe this person never cared for you in the past, and now you have to do it for them. And maybe you’re gonna feel like you’re selfish when you need a break,” he continues.

So, as a caregiver, how do you manage?

Pastor Evans has some words of advice to all in the role of caregiver out there: Just remember that you can’t care for someone else properly unless you are strong. So do not hesitate to find those times.

“No one can be a caregiver 24/7; It’ll break anybody,” Pastor Evans says. Just like everyone else, as a caregiver, you’re entitled to your emotions.

“So, you need to find time out where you’re not doing that and where others are helping you,” he adds, “and that in those frustrations and that anger, take time to find someone to express that to, whether it’s a friend, whether it’s a pastor, whether it’s a neighbor, because as you work that out of your system, you’ll be better, able to be there for them.”

As a caregiver, you’re offering the person you’re caring for “something sacred and profound” at a point in their life when they suddenly can’t live or go on without someone else there.

Pastor Evans reminds all caregivers to remember that you’re giving that person “the gift of quality of life, or as long as it might be possible.”

“Know that then, because of that, you are God’s presence in their life,” he adds. “They can know God’s love through you. And that’s a sacred and blessed calling.”

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