Body Image & Self-Love: Gaining Perspective
- Actress Rebel Wilson, 44, has poured her heart out in a new memoir, Rebel Rising, opening up about her lifelong weight-loss struggles and sharing how her mother’s breast cancer diagnosis gave her the courage to feel more sexually fearless.
- Wilson admitted she was worried about people not being into her because of her weight, but eventually, the star said she was able to “feel the fear and just do it.”
- Understandably, many people going through cancer inspire friends and family members who witness their challenges, which can really put life into perspective.
- Focusing on your strongest attributes can help train you to look at your body and embrace your mind in a more positive way.
Finding that inner beauty has been admittedly tough for the Pitch Perfect star, who says she hasn’t always had the best relationship with her body — but she decided in her late 30s to do something about it.
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However, the Bridesmaids standout has thankfully been feeling more in control, sharing she lost 80 pounds after “a year of health” in 2020, then found love with fiancée Ramona Agruma in 2021. The following year, the pair joyfully welcomed a baby girl, Royce Lillian, now 17 months, via surrogate.
A ‘Late Bloomer’
Discussing her sex life prior to finding her partner, another one of Wilson’s revelations that’s been making headlines post-book release is the fact that she did not lose her virginity until age 35, sharing she just felt “unlovable.”
“When it came to physical intimacy, I was terrified,” the self-described “late bloomer” wrote.
Wilson admitted she was worried about people not being into her because of her weight, but then after her mother, Sue Bownds, was diagnosed with breast cancer, the Sydney, Australia native said she was able to “feel the fear and just do it.”
Coping With Body Image
Understandably, many people going through cancer inspire friends and family members who witness their challenges as it may help put life into perspective. It’s also common for survivors to struggle with the physical part of their own health journey, clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin previously told SurvivorNet.
“Your body has changed and represents this difficult chapter in your life and simply accepting all of that is far too simple,” said Strongin.
To help combat these feelings, Strongin suggests to spend time in front of the mirror looking at the parts you truly love, adding, “Give them time, honor them and then thank them.”
Strongin then says to spend time looking at the part (or parts) of your body that have been impacted by cancer or disease, such as your chest where your breasts have been removed, or your head where there is no longer hair.
RELATED: Body Image, Sex, and Adjusting to a New Normal After Cancer Treatment
“At first you may experience a flood of emotions — this is expected and normal. As you allow yourself to spend more time looking at all of you, you will begin having a new relationship with your body,” Strongin explained.
“It may not happen immediately, but with time you can begin honoring and thanking that part of your body by creating a more accepting relationship with yourself.”
Learning More About Positive Pychology
Positive psychology like this can help many to focus on their strengths and how they can help themselves rather than just trying to curb individual symptoms and/or diagnose a disorder.
“It is a fundamental sort of different way of thinking about patients, thinking about their experience,” Dr. Samantha Boardman, a New York-based psychiatrist and author, told SurvivorNet. “It’s not just focusing on what’s the matter. It’s also asking them, what matters to you?”
What is Positive Psychology & How Can it Help Cancer Survivors?
Dr. Boardman noted that positive psychology is a reimagined approach to dealing with mental struggles. “Making people feel less bad is not the same as making them feel good,” she said, referring to how this new approach encourages people to try to find happiness rather than just try to stop sadness.
This approach can be a major benefit to people who are dealing with an illness like cancer because it focuses on finding those great parts of life, as celebrity stylist and survivor Ann Caruso can relate to, sharing her own experience with SurvivorNet.
Celebrity Stylist Ann Caruso says dressing your best can make you feel better while going through cancer.
“As breast cancer survivors, society has us thinking that our breasts are what makes us sexy … but there’s so many other things,” Caruso said.
“Find the beauty that lives in so many other parts of your body and mind, and remind yourself that you can be sexy no matter what treatment you have to undergo.”
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
If you’re experiencing physical changes to your body due to certain physical or emotional reasons, you might want to consider asking your doctor these questions:
- I am experiencing certain bodily changes. What exactly is causing them?
- Are there ways to manage or minimize these changes?
- I’m struggling to cope with the changes to my body. Is there someone I can talk to about it?
- Is there a social worker here who can help connect me with a therapist?
- What resources are available to help me find a local support group?
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