Relationships and Cancer
- Former professional basketball player Dwyane Tyrone Wade Jr., 43, is cancer-free from kidney cancer after having 40% of his right kidney removed, but his journey battling the disease took a “toll” on his family, friends, and wife, “Bring It On” actress wife Gabrielle Union.
- Kidney cancer develops when cells in the kidneys, a pair of bean-shaped organs each about the size of a fist, begin to grow out of control. Renal cell carcinoma is the most common type of kidney cancer. About 9 out of 10 kidney cancers are RCCs.
- Going through cancer treatment can be a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience, so it can help to have a strong relationship to lean on for support. That being said, it’s important to notice what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much during your cancer journey and that includes your relationships.
- Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik says supporters of cancer patients should prepare themselves for a wide range of emotions a cancer diagnosis can spawn. “People can have a range of emotions, they can include fear, anger, and these emotions tend to be fluid.”
Wade, who now works as the host of “The Cube” on TBS, had a cancerous tumor on his kidney surgically removed in December, 18, 2023, however it wasn’t public disclosed until earlier this year. He came across his diagnosis after experiencing issues and urinary issues, which led him to getting a full-body scan.
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Union, who has been married to Wade since 2014 and shares two daughters with him, explained further, “But you also don’t understand the journey and the toll it takes on your marriage, on your family, on your kids. That level of vulnerability, to go through removal of a good chunk of his kidney and the healing that involved, he needed us to be OK with his vulnerability.
“But more than that, he needed to be OK with his vulnerability. It was a challenge to give grace and receive it.”
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She said the diagnosis came on the ninth year of their marriage, recounting the year as “very hard,” adding, “When you mention year nine being hard, he hadn’t revealed his cancer diagnosis and his own cancer journey, so now we can put it in more context.”
Wade first spoke about his cancer journey last month on his podcast “The Why With Dwyane Wade,” revealing he had 40% of his right kidney removed during the surgery. Testing revealed the tumor was in fact cancerous.
He admitted he didn’t get routine medical checkups since he retired from professional basketball in 2019. It wasn’t until his dad underwent surgery, for an undisclosed reason, that he chose to get a full-body exam.
Wade, who noted his urinary issues consisted of having a “weak” stream, said, “I didn’t go in for my kidneys. But because I did the full-body scan, they saw something.
“Thank God that I did do the surgery, right? Because the tumor was cancerous.”
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Wade’s wife also recently spoke with Access Hollywood, ahead of the new movie release of “Riff Raff,” which she’s starring in. She said, “He’s cancer-free now. He was smart to delay talking about his diagnosis and the surgery for over a year to give us all a little time to make peace with it and let all of our very intense fears kind of dissipate a little bit, but he’s brave.
“He’s doing well. We are proud of him, that he was brave enough to not only go through all the things that he needed to do to take care of his health but to share it with the world and hopefully save other people.”
Learning About Kidney Cancer
Kidney cancer develops when cells in the kidneys, a pair of bean-shaped organs each about the size of a fist, begin to grow out of control. Renal cell carcinoma is the most common type of kidney cancer. In fact, about 9 out of 10 kidney cancers are RCCs.
According to the National Cancer Institute, 81,610 new cases of kidney cancer are expected across the U.S this year and it’s a disease which can develop in both adults and children.
“The main types of kidney cancer are renal cell cancer, transitional cell cancer, and Wilms tumor,” the institute explains, noting that some “inherited conditions” may increase a person’s risk of getting the disease.
Luckily, advancement in kidney cancer treatment has proven effective for people battling the disease.
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The institute states, “NCI-funded researchers are working to advance our understanding of how to detect and treat kidney cancer. Much progress has been made over the last few decades, especially in identifying genes that can drive the development of kidney cancer.
“This knowledge has led to more effective treatments. Today, about 75% of people with kidney cancer will be alive 5 years after diagnosis.”
Renal cell carcinoma (RCC) “is the most common malignant tumor of the kidney and constitutes over 90 percent of all renal malignancies.”
Here are some signs of kidney cancer to look out for:
- Blood in the urine (hematuria)
- Low back pain on one side (not caused by injury)
- A mass (lump) on the side or lower back
- Fatigue (tiredness)
- Loss of appetite
- Weight loss not caused by dieting
- Fever that is not caused by an infection and doesn’t go away
- Anemia (low red blood cell counts)
According to the National Cancer Institute, the following types of treatment are used for someone battling renal cell carcinoma:
- Surgery
- Radiation therapy
- Chemotherapy
- Immunotherapy
- Targeted therapy
- New types of treatment are being tested in clinical trials
According to UCLA Health, kidney cancer can metastasize, or spread, to any part of the body through the blood or lymphatic system. When that happens, the first signs of cancer may not be specific to your kidneys.
Symptoms of metastatic kidney cancer may cause symptoms in the newly affected areas of the body including:
- The lungs, causing cough and shortness of breath
- The bones, resulting in bone pain or fracture
- The brain, presenting as headaches, confusion or seizures
That being said, all of these signs don’t necessarily mean you have cancer. Still, you should always bring up any changes to your health with your doctors.
“Traditionally, kidney cancer was diagnosed in people coming in with blood in the urine, a mass (in the) belly that was big enough that you could feel, or pain on that side,” Dr. Geoffrey Sonn, a urologic oncologist with Stanford Hospital and Clinics, previously told SurvivorNet.
“More recently because of the great increase in the use of imaging with ultrasound, CAT scans, MRI most kidney cancers (are) diagnosed incidentally, meaning a scan is done for another reason,” he added.
Dr. Sonn said that doctors finding a mass seen on imaging done for another reason is “the most common presentation” of the disease. Some patients without symptoms might discover their cancer through scans done for unrelated reasons, and other might discover the cancer after a scan to investigate abdominal pain.
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Either way, it’s important to stay up-to-date on check ups and speak with your doctors about any possible signs of something being wrong.
“For localized kidney cancer, for relatively small masses that have not metastasized, most often patients feel nothing, and this is found on a scan done for another reason,” he explained.
“For larger masses of the kidney they may have pain on that side, they may see blood in the urine or a routine urine test may show a microscopic amount of blood in the urine that’s not enough to be seen visually but still will prompt further testing with imaging that shows the kidney cancer.”
Having a Supportive Partner During a Cancer Battle
It’s no secret that fighting cancer can be extremely overwhelming, so having physical and emotional support during your battle is crucial. That being said, it’s very important to know your limits on what you can handle including relationships during treatment.
“Going through treatment is a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience,” licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin wrote in a column for SurvivorNet. “Noticing what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much… [is] extremely important to pay attention to as you navigate treatment.”
Dr. Strongin does note, however, that having people by your side during this “arduous chapter” of your life can be hugely beneficial.
“Studies have found consistently that loneliness is a significant risk factor for physical and mental illnesses and the trajectory of recovery,” she wrote. “Therefore, it will be important that you surround yourself with individuals who care and support you throughout your treatment.”
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For actress and melanoma survivor Jill Kargman, cancer was a true test of the strength for her relationship. In an earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Kargman says the disease “is a great way to find out if you’re with the love of your life or a shithead.”
Jill Kargman on Relationships and Cancer
“I think it presses the fast forward button on getting to the bottom of that answer, because a lot of people in middle age are kind of at a crossroads, waiting for their kids to fly the coop,” Kargman said. “I think if you’re with someone who is not supportive and kind of emotionally checked out or doesn’t tell you you’re still beautiful with that, this might not be your person.”
Provider Bias in Healthcare
It’s important to understand that while your doctor has undergone years of training and practice, she or he is ultimately still human and may come with their own set of biases that can impact how they treat patients.
For other young women, it’s not unusual to be ignored at the doctor. And the same goes for many groups of people, including Black people, older people, the LGBTIQA+ community, and anybody who is lacking on education and money.
To combat these biases, known as provider biases, and really get the most out of your interactions with your doctor, you should provide her or him with plenty of information about your life and ask plenty of questions when things aren’t clear.
To better understand how you should approach conversations with your doctor, SurvivorNet previously spoke to Dr. Dana Chase, gynecologic oncologist at Arizona Oncology.
According to Dr. Chase, physicians, like many of us, can be a bit biased when seeing patients. Dr. Chase makes clear that these biases are rarely sinister, but rather unconscious and more subtle.
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Dr. Chase says, “We have certain beliefs that we don’t know about. We might look, for example, at an older woman, and just by the way she looks we might make certain assumptions, and we might not even know that we’re making these assumptions.”
Sometimes, these assumptions can lead to differences in the care that doctors provide. That is the point at which you, the woman, should advocate for yourself and clear up any misconceptions the doctor may have, says Dr. Chase.
“Say things to your doctor like, ‘I may not seem healthy because I’m 92, but I want you to know that I play tennis three times a day,’ ” she explains. This type of discourse can be really helpful when building a relationship with your physicians and even more important when it comes to creating a treatment plan.
To sum things up, Dr. Chase says, “In order to avoid situations where potentially the doctor is making assumptions about you that you don’t even really know about, reminding yourself to tell the doctor who you are, to explain your life situation, I think is really important.”
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Clearing up misconceptions is important, but so is understanding what your doctor is telling you, says Dr. Chase. In order to do so, she advises women to speak up and ask questions when they don’t understand something.
“It’s never a bad thing to ask for something to be repeated, or to ask the doctors to explain it in different terms.” So next time you go to your physician, we think you should feel empowered to speak up, both so she or he understand you and you understand them.
Being Your Own Advocate
It’s important to practice, something many SurvivorNet experts often recommend, being your own biggest advocate.
“Every appointment you leave as a patient, there should be a plan for what the doc is going to do for you, and if that doesn’t work, what the next plan is,” Dr. Zuri Murrell, director of the Cedars-Sinai Colorectal Cancer Center, told SurvivorNet in a previous interview.
“And I think that that’s totally fair. And me as a health professional that’s what I do for all of my patients.”
WATCH: Why advocating for your health is important.
Getting a second opinion is another way to advocate for your health.
Doctors do not always agree on whether your symptoms might warrant further testing. It’s during moments like these that having a second or third medical professional’s opinion might be able to catch something before it worsens.
Dr. Steven Rosenberg, chief of surgery at the National Cancer Institute supports patients getting multiple opinions.
“If I had any advice for you following a cancer diagnosis, it would be, first, to seek out multiple opinions as to the best care, because finding a doctor who is up to the latest information is important,” Rosenberg previously told SurvivorNet. “And it’s always important to get other opinions so that you can make the best decisions for yourself in consultation with your care providers.”
WATCH: Cancer Research Legend Urges Patients to Get Multiple Opinions.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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