Navigating Feelings of Anger
- Actress Christina Applegate, 52, who rose to fame in her teens starring on the hit sitcom Married with Children, says she’s still feeling immense anger over her debilitating multiple sclerosis diagnosis as she continues to suffer mentally and physically during her day-to-day life.
- Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a disease in which the immune system eats away at the protective covering of the body’s nerves. Currently, there is no cure for MS, although some people treat the disease using chemotherapy, medications, or steroid drugs.
- On Applegate’s MeSsy podcast she co-hosts with best pal Jamie-Lynn Sigler, who has been living with MS for 23 years, the Hollywood, Calif. native candidly shares her lingering resentment over her condition as the two discuss their opposite approaches on managing their health.
- Struggling mentally does not look the same for everyone. Some people may be very high-functioning, while others show clear signs that indicate depression. Sometimes, perhaps after a particularly stressful life event, people may begin feeling anger that seems irrational or uncharacteristic.
- It’s important to discuss these intense feelings with a mental health expert who can help navigate with an approach that may work for you — and encourage what brings a sense of vitality to your life.
Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a disease in which the immune system eats away at the protective covering of the body’s nerves. Currently, there is no cure for MS, although some people treat the disease using chemotherapy, medications, or steroid drugs.
Read MoreThe Emmy winner, who went through breast cancer in 2008 at age 36, goes on to describe how just one outing that requires basic movement leaves her sore for days. “My hamstrings feel like I took a seven-hour dance class. They hurt so badly, and then that discourages me and I don’t want to do anything.”
An empathetic Sigler tried to encourage her to retrain her thinking, saying, for example, it’s normal that even a healthy person would be feeling extremely sore after not working out for months and it’s similar when dealing with MS. Sigler reassured her friend that she is there for her but insisted that she try to take better care of herself, especially for the sake of her daughter, Sadie Grace, 13.
Though Applegate heartbreakingly admitted she is not enjoying much of life anymore, she shared that she does appreciate moments like Sigler and her other girlfriend coming over to talk with her in bed. “That’s enjoyable, I enjoy that. But if someone’s like let’s get up and go for a walk or let’s go get a coffee, I don’t enjoy that process.”
Ultimately, Sigler said she won’t let Applegate give up. “I won’t let you do that.”
Christina Applegate’s MS Journey
Applegate began experiencing symptoms of multiple sclerosis long before she had answers.
She actually said she felt off balance during a dance sequence that occurred way back in season one of her dark comedy “Dead to Me.” She later noticed her aptitude for tennis started to fail.
“I wish I had paid attention,” she previously told The New York Times. “But who was I to know?”
It took several years of worsening tingling and numbness in her extremities before her diagnosis arrived while on set. This life-altering realization didn’t stop Applegate from finishing her portrayal of character Jen Harding, but she did need a break. Production of the final season ceased for about five months as she began treatment.
“There was the sense of, ‘Well, let’s get her some medicine so she can get better,’” Applegate said. “And there is no better. But it was good for me. I needed to process my loss of my life, my loss of that part of me. So I needed that time.”
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Applegate has previously admitted that she’ll never fully “accept” her condition, but she did learn how to work with it initially. And she’s talked about how the show was a cathartic outlet and safe space.
“I had an obligation to Liz [Feldman] and to Linda [Cardellini], to our story,” she said of the show’s writer and her co-star respectively. “The powers that be were like, ‘Let’s just stop. We don’t need to finish it. Let’s put a few episodes together.’ I said, ‘No. We’re going to do it, but we’re going to do it on my terms.’”
Applegate wasn’t able to work as hard or as long or in the heat without her body giving out, but she found pride in her self-sufficiency. With the help of some adjustments to the schedule, she powered through. Nicole Vassell, a writer for The Independent, says other programs should learn from the way Applegate’s “physical changes [were] seamlessly incorporated into the show.”
“This is the first time anyone’s going to see me the way I am,” Applegate said. “I put on 40 pounds; I can’t walk without a cane. I want people to know that I am very aware of all of that.”
Navigating Feelings of Anger amid Illness
Struggling mentally does not look the same for everyone. Some people may be very high-functioning, while others show clear signs that indicate depression. Sometimes, perhaps after a particularly stressful life event, people may begin feeling anger that seems irrational or uncharacteristic.
Dr. William Breitbart, chair of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, says that when he sees patients dealing with some sort of life-changing or even life-threatening challenge, such as a cancer diagnosis, they may turn to anger as a way to cope.
“One gets angry because one hasn’t quite achieved and fulfilled the tasks that they set out for their lives and the responsibilities that they’ve committed to fulfill,” Dr. Breitbart explained in a prior interview with SurvivorNet. Treatment may involve speaking with a professional and trying to come up with ways to achieve those goals. However, Dr. Breitbart also noted that guiding these patients to accept their own vulnerability is also crucial.
Mental Health: Coping With Feelings of Anger
“The last resort of relieving existential guilt is this act of being able to forgive yourself for being a human being that is vulnerable and susceptible to not being able to fulfill their full potential. So, it’s forgiveness ultimately,” Dr. Breitbart said.
For some people, there may even be a sense of shame or guilt involved in seeking mental health treatment in the first place. However, there’s nothing to be ashamed of and it is important to realize you are not alone. In fact, according to a 2020 survey, the CDC reports that more than 20% of American adults said they sought out mental health treatment over the past year. Among those people, 16.5% said they had taken some sort of medication for their mental health and 10.1% said they had received counseling or therapy.
Finding a Sense of Vitality
Positive psychology is a different way of looking at mental health and the needs of people seeking mental health treatment. However, instead of focusing on diagnosing illnesses or the traditional treatment path, this approach to psychology focuses on encouraging feelings of positivity among patients and finding what brings a sense of vitality to their lives.
Part of the approach, according to Dr. Samantha Boardman, a New York-based psychiatrist and author, is finding “the three wellsprings of vitality.” But what exactly are these pillars?
Mental Health: Understanding the Three Wellsprings of Vitality
Dr. Boardman explains them as “pathways to embrace your everyday resilience.” In other words, these are tools people who may be struggling with mental health issues can embrace to help maintain a certain sense of positivity. And those positive feelings can really go a long way when people are facing a health challenge like a cancer diagnosis.
According to Dr. Boardman, these three wellsprings of vitality are:
- Connecting. This involves how you’re connecting with others and having meaningful interactions. It involves being a good listener and being engaged with the people around you who you care about.
- Contribution. How are you adding value to the people around you? Are you helping them in ways that feel meaningful to them? Basically, this entails contributing/engaging with others in a meaningful way.
- Feeling challenged. Being “positively challenged” could involve learning something new (perhaps by taking a new class or reading an interesting book) and expanding your mind in some way.
“Those are the cores of vitality, and the core pathways to enhance your everyday resilience,” Dr. Boardman said.
Bottom line, there is always hope in getting through darker times by learning the right tools — and reaching out for help is never something to be embarrassed about.
In the meantime, check out SurvivorNet’s mental health guide to help guide you through.
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
- Is there an outlet for me if I am experiencing anger or frustration?
- Should I consider seeing a mental health professional?
- Can you recommend a therapist based on my personal needs?
- What other healthy coping mechanisms might I consider?
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.
