Coping With The Loss Of a Parent or Loved One
- Country singer-songwriter Lauren Alaina Kristine Suddeth, 29, is mourning her late dad J.J. Suddeth, who passed away last month— but thankfully, she’s been immersed in support and love from her family, friends, loved ones, and faith.
- Lauren Alaina took some time off to cope with the loss of her dad, but she’ll be back performing this upcoming weekend.
- Grief is a difficult, truly personal process, something Lauren Alaina has shown. Some find solace in vulnerability and sharing how they feel with others.
- While working through grief and vulnerable tackling of the emotions that accompany it, some find tools like therapy to be helpful. For others, support groups or turning to faith may be helpful.
- Whichever methods of support you look for after loss, you should know that there is no correct way to grieve. There is no perfect timeline for grieving, either.
The former American idol star and “Road Less Traveled” singer, from Rossville, Georgia, took to social media days go to praise her community for being their for her amid this arduous time.
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“Thank you to my brother and sister and their beautiful babies for the FaceTimes at all times of the day to make me smile or bring me comfort in any way you can. Thank you to my momma and bonus dad for coming out on the road with me.”
Thank you to my team for giving me a loving environment on the road,” she concluded. “Most of all thank you Jesus for the unconditional love and strength from the Kingdom of God surrounding all of us right now as we navigate this pain and sorrow.”
Lauren Alaina closed off with telling her fans that she will be seeing them “this weekend” in Indiana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania.
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In response, Lauren Alaina, received incredibly heartfelt words from her fans, with one writing, “I know we are strangers … but I sincerely prayed for you through this time and I will keep praying for you … you’re probably my kids age and I can’t imagine how hurt they would be right now if this were them!!
“So just know there must be lots of Mommas out here who are thinking of you and praying you get through this difficult time with your heart intact.”
Another fan commented, “Watching you this weekend was one of the proudest moments. You are the strongest person I know. You’ve got a village around you that loves you so much.”
TV personality Colton Underwood also showed his support in the comments, writing, “So proud of you. So happy that you have great people and support in your life [heart] sending you so much love.”
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It’s unclear what led to her father’s passing, but what is certain is the love she had for him.
Lauren Alaina wrote in an emotional post announcing her dad’s passing on July 24, “We lost my daddy last night, and I really don’t have words yet.
“I want to let y’all know that I’m not able to play the three shows I had scheduled for this weekend in Savannah, Virginia Beach, and Charlotte as I am going home to be with my family. Thank you for your prayers and understanding. Pinky.”
How to Manage Grief
- Dealing With Grief Related to Health Problems
- How to Handle the Emotional Toll of Caring for a Loved One With Cancer: Prioritizing Your Mental Health
- Mental Health: Understanding the Three Wellsprings of Vitality
- Mental Health and Cancer — The Fight, Flight or Freeze Response
- How to Be Realistically Optimistic: Coping With Mental Health Long-Term
- Mental Health: Coping With Feelings of Anger
In a Father’s Day post from this year Lauren Alaina called her dad her “‘old man’ with a heart the size of Texas.”
Lauren Alaina, who shared photos of her and her dad from her wedding earlier this year, concluded with, “I love you so much daddy and hope you have the best day fishin’. Love, your turd (pinky).”
We’re happy to know Lauren Alaina had her dad by her side on her big day when she married her now-husband Cameron Arnold at the Schermerhorn Symphony Center in downtown Nashville.
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Speaking to People about her wedding in an earlier interview, Lauren Alaina said, “Here’s the funny thing: I wanted a small wedding and Cameron wanted a big wedding. So we compromised — and had a 450-person guest list.
“I think it’s just a reflection of how fortunate we are — we have a lot of people who love us and we love a lot of people.”
Lauren Alaina loves her dad so much that she even wrote a song for their father-daughter dance.
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She shared her song “My Old Man” with some heartfelt footage from her wedding day, captioning the post, “I wrote this song for my daddy for our daddy/daughter dance. It was such a special moment during our wedding. I will truly never forget it.
“I knew I found the one when they became best friends. My good ole boy and My Old Man.”
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Moving Through Grief
Grief is a difficult, truly personal process, something Lauren Alaina has shown. Some find solace in vulnerability and sharing how they feel with others.
While working through grief and vulnerable tackling of the emotions that accompany it, some find tools like therapy to be helpful. Support groups can also be a benefit for those who are feeling isolated in their feelings of grief, as can turning to faith.
Whichever methods of support you look for after cancer loss, you should know that there is no correct way to grieve. There is no perfect timeline for grieving, either.
Dealing With Grief After a Cancer Diagnosis
It’s important to remember that anxiety and fear are also totally normal reactions to the news of cancer, or the loss of a loved one, and acknowledging these emotions can be therapeutic and important to the healing process.
“I think the most important advice I would give to someone who has just received a cancer diagnosis is to find people whom they find as a source of support. To allow themselves to go through all of the different emotional reactions to that news,” said Dr. Susan Parsons, Director of the Center for Health Solutions/Center on Child and Family Outcomes at Tufts Medical Center, in a prior interview with SurvivorNet.
Fear, Anger, Anxiety You’re Entitled To Your Emotions
“The anger, the frustration, the fear. The disappointment. Whatever those emotions are, figure out what’s important to you and find those people that can help you realize that,” Dr. Parsons explained.
In times of frustration, it can be useful to a little bit of direction on specific ways to deal with it. A few of the most common ways to deal with fear and anxiety after a cancer diagnosis, that have helped people in the SurvivorNet community in the past, include:
1. Let your family and close friends know and let them help. So many cancer survivors tell us they want and need support but are often too preoccupied to make specific requests. Urge those close to you to jump in with whatever practical help they can offer.
2. Keep a journal. It can be extremely cathartic to let those feelings loose on paper. Grab a pen and a nice journal and chronicle your different thoughts throughout the day.
3. Join a cancer support group. There are groups in nearly every community offering opportunities to connect with others going through a similar journey. You’ll learn incredibly helpful insight from others who can tell you about what to expect and how to stay strong on tough days.
4. Consider seeing a therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist so you can discuss your fears and concerns in a safe space. Often, vocalizing your thoughts and feelings rather than internalizing them can provide relief.
Therapy Saved My Life’: After Losing A Loved One, Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
Faith Offers Cancer Patients Hope
We’re unsure what the cause of Lauren Alaina’s dad’s death was, but it’s uplifting to know that when it comes to anyone battling cancer or a health battle, faith—like Lauren Alaina exudes—it offers hope in times of darkness. A study published in “Cancer” includes data that found “69% of cancer patients reported praying for their health” compared to “only 45% of the general U.S. population.”
Cancer psychologist Dr. Andrew Kneier helped co-author “Coping with Cancer: Ten Steps toward Emotional Well-Being.” He also co-authored a column published by Stanford Medicine with Rabbi Jeffery M. Silberman, director of spiritual care at Danbury Hospital in Connecticut.
The two add more context to the impact faith has on cancer patients.
“A person’s faith or spirituality provides a means for coping with illness and reaching a deeper kind of inner healing,” Kneier and Silberman said.
“Coping means different things to different people: it can involve finding answers to the questions that illness raises, it can mean seeking comfort for the fears and pain that illness brings, and it can mean learning how to find a sense of direction at a time of illness. Religious teachings can help a person cope in all of these dimensions.”
WATCH: Three-time cancer survivor shares how her faith helped her during cancer.
New York City Presbyterian Pastor Tom Evans tells SurvivorNet about the importance of finding ways to cope with the complex web of feelings you may be experiencing after a challenging health diagnosis, such as cancer.
“It’s important to reach out in a simple prayer to God, even if you’ve never prayed before, you don’t know what to say, a heartfelt plea, ‘God, help me, be with me,’” Pastor Evans told SurvivorNet.
“You can reach out to God, and you can reach out to people, your friends and family, and say, ‘I can’t do this on my own. I need you.’ “It’s in that willingness to be open and to receive that we can find something deeper that we never would’ve encountered without this hardship,” Evans continued.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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