The Power of Support
- Iconic singer Melissa Etheridge, whose docuseries “Melissa Etheridge: I’m Not Broken” will soon be released on Paramount+, has offered insight into her marriage with actress and producer Linda Wallem.
- The loving partners wed on May 31, 2014, on San Ysidro Ranch in Montecito, California, just two days after their 53rd birthday. They were both born on the same day and year, May 29, 1961.
- Etheridge was diagnosed with breast cancer after discovering a lump in her breast in 2004. She underwent surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy to treat the cancer.
- A support system, like how Etheridge has with her wife, can be made up of loved ones like family and friends. It can also be comprised of strangers who have come together because of a shared cancer experience. Mental health professionals can also be critical parts of a support system.
Etheridge, a breast cancer survivor who is known for her iconic 1993 hit “Come To My Window,” opened up to People in a recent interview about how their marriage continues to thrive, revealing “it helps a lot” that she and Wallem, who is also 63, share birthdays.
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Etheridge, who shares her two children, twins Johnnie and Miller, with Tammy Lynn Michaels, her former wife. She also has two children with her ex partner and film director Julie Cypher, whom she also shares to children with, Bailey, and Beckett, who passed away at the age of 21 from causes related to his opioid addiction.
Before marrying Wallem, Etheridge recalls the friendship they had for approximately 10 years before getting emotions involved.
Etheridge told People, “I had so much fun with her as a person. We were able to slowly step into it, and it was so perfect.
“Life is not just second chances — life is always chances. There’s no, ‘Well, that’s just the way it is.’ We can always make a different choice.”
More On Support Through Cancer
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- Finding the Support You Need to Heal During Cancer Treatment
- A Cancer Survivor’s Ode To Friends and Family: “My Support System Helped Me Heal”
- I Wanted to Be Me Again, But I Also Needed Their Help — Finding That Support System
- The ‘Ultimate’ Gift — Former Soap Star Cameron Mathison on Family, and the Importance of Support Systems
According to People, more of Etheridge and Wallem’s relationship is seen in the singer’s new docuseries— and she “can’t wait for the world to see it.”
In a statement shared on Etheridge’s website, the country star adds, “I’m excited for audiences to join me on this powerful journey and hear these remarkable stories filled with pain and struggle but also hope and healing.
“I hope that this docuseries shows viewers the challenges that women face in our prison system while also serving as a resource to those who currently are struggling.”
As for what her “I’M NOT BROKEN’ docuseries is about, her website explains it’s about “an inspiring story of healing and transcendence through the power of music when five female residents from the Topeka Correctional Facility, a women’s prison in Kansas, write letters to Etheridge that she uses as inspiration to create and perform an original song for them.
“Having recently lost her son to opioids, Etheridge works to understand and interrupt the cycle of addiction while connecting with these women who, so often, are forgotten by society.”
We’re happy to see Etheridge opening up to fans about her inspiring journey about healing, love, and music, as she’s certainly come a long way since she was diagnosed with breast cancer 20 years ago.
Additionally, as Pride month is upon us, we’re reminded that it’s been 31 years since Etheridge came out and she’s “never regretted it.”
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She explained in a video shared on Instagram last June, “I’ve never regretted it … ever. Every time I can stand up and be myself, either on stage or in my neighborhood, it makes me a better person.
“So happy Pride month to you. Be proud. Pride means to look at yourself and love yourself. We can change the world that way.”
Melissa Etheridge’s Inspirational Cancer Journey
Etheridge’s life has not always been easy, and it’s certainly been a source of inspiration for some of her music. Part of her life’s journey includes a bout with breast cancer.
In 2004, she was on tour when she discovered a lump in her left breast. A biopsy confirmed her breast cancer diagnosis. Although her exact type of breast cancer isn’t publicly known, it was stage 2 upon discovery.
“It was a rather large tumor, but had only contaminated one lymph node,” she previously told ABC News.
WATCH: Should I Have a Lumpectomy or Mastectomy?
Etheridge had a lumpectomy to remove a 4-centimeter tumor from her breast. This procedure involves removing just the cancer and an area of healthy tissue around it. Her surgery also included the removal of 14 lymph nodes after discovering the cancer had spread.
She then received chemotherapy which involves giving the singer drugs designed to kill cancer cells. Chemo is usually administered either orally or intravenously. The “Angels Would Fall” singer also received radiation therapy. This kind of cancer treatment uses high-energy beams such as X-rays aimed at cancer cells designed to kill them.
In 2005, the singing cancer warrior bravely performed at the Grammy Awards while still bald from chemotherapy.
She said the morning of the awards show, she had undergone radiation treatment and felt weak.
“I remember halfway through, thinking in my mind, ‘Oh my God,” Etheridge said of her memorable yet inspiring performance.
Thankfully, her course of treatment proved to be successful and she’s still able to perform across the country with her most famous hits. The popular singer is currently touring and impressed the audience at this year’s CMT Music Awards.
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What to Know About Breast Cancer Screening
As for breast cancer screenings, a mammogram is the primary test doctors use to check for breast cancer. The wide consensus is that women should have annual mammograms between the ages of 45 and 54.
And while leading organizations like the American Cancer Society say women should have the option to begin annual screenings between 40 and 45, there is some disagreement among doctors as to whether this is beneficial.
For example, after saying for years that women shouldn’t begin mammograms until 50, an independent panel of experts called the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recently changed their guidelines to say that women of average risk should begin at 40.
Dr. Connie Lehman, a diagnostic radiologist who specializes in breast cancer at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, says when you begin mammograms is a decision you should discuss with your doctor, as they can help you understand your specific circumstances and weigh the benefits and potential risks of earlier screening.
Life After Cancer Will be Different, That Doesn’t Have to be a Bad Thing
Your mammogram results may lead your doctor to recommend further testing with a diagnostic mammogram, ultrasound, or magnetic resonance imaging (MRI). If these tests suggest changes that might be cancer, you’ll need a biopsy a test in which your doctor removes a small sample of tissue and has it checked for cancer in a lab.
Only a biopsy can confirm or rule out whether you have breast cancer.
Although it can be frightening to go through breast cancer testing, SurvivorNet’s doctors say not to fret. It’s possible for a biopsy to find that a lump is benign or not cancerous.
If you do receive a breast cancer diagnosis, you’ll learn what type of breast cancer you have and the stage of the disease. The stage means how far in your body the cancer has spread.
Though most breast cancers are not linked to inherited genetic mutations, knowing whether you have a mutation could affect the type of treatment you get. SurvivorNet experts recommend all women who are diagnosed with breast cancer be given genetic testing.
Based on your test results, preferences, and personal circumstances (such as your age), you and your doctor will make decisions about how to proceed with treatment, which we have plenty of expert resources on.
Power of Support
A support system, like how Melissa Etheridge has with her wife, can be made up of loved ones like family and friends. It can also be comprised of strangers who have come together because of a shared cancer experience. Mental health professionals can also be critical parts of a support system.
WATCH: Sharing details about your cancer diagnosis.
“Some people don’t need to go outside of their family and friend’s circle. They feel like they have enough support there,” psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet.
“But for people who feel like they need a little bit more, it’s important to reach out to a mental health professional,” Dr. Plutchik added.
Dr. Plutchik also stressed it is important for people supporting cancer warriors to understand their emotions can vary day-to-day.
“People can have a range of emotions, they can include fear, anger, and these emotions tend to be fluid. They can recede and return based on where someone is in the process,” Dr. Plutchik said.
Meanwhile, licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin says people faced with cancer should “surround [themselves] with individuals who care and support [them]” throughout treatment while also acknowledging their limits on what they can handle.
“Going through [cancer] treatment is a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience,” Dr. Strongin wrote in a column for SurvivorNet. “Noticing what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much [is] extremely important to pay attention to as you navigate treatment.”
If you’re ever in a relationship where you feel overwhelmed by how your partner is trying to support you, Dr. Strongin says you should try to communicate your feelings. This may help you decide if your partner is the person you want beside you “during this arduous chapter” of life.
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Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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