Rob's Tragic Loss
- In 2018, actor Rob Delaney lost his 2-year-old son, Henry, to brain cancer.
- Delaney tells BBC 4 that he’s no longer scared of death because of Henry, and the loss made him love his three other sons “better.”
- Grief is a process that takes time and can be helped with therapy.
Delaney hopes he’ll feel closer to Henry after he passes, too. He said, “I don’t know where Henry went or what happened to him when he died do you? But I know I’ll get to find out when I die. At the very least, I’ll get to experience something Henry experienced, and that’s wonderful,” he says. “That knowledge brings me peace. I won’t say ‘I can’t wait,’ because I can.”Delaney is best known for his roles in Deadpool 2, Bombshell, and Catastrophe. He and his wife, Leah, have three other sons. The devoted dad also said that losing Henry made him love his other sons not more, but ”better.” The father said of his three other sons, “When I hold them now, I know what they really are: They’re temporary gatherings of stardust, just like Henry. They won’t be here forever.”
Henry’s Story & Brain Cancer
Henry was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2016 and fought the disease for two years before passing away. This young soul was only 2-and-a-half-years-old when he passed. It’s no wonder that such a tremendous loss of this degree would have a life-altering effect on someone. According to the American Cancer Society (ACS), brain tumors like Henry’s (as well as spinal cord tumors) are the second most common cancers found in children, after leukemia. Brain and spinal cord tumors account for 1 in 4 childhood cancers. Malignant tumors have a slightly higher incidence in boys than in girls.
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In a previous interview with SurvivorNet, 36-year-old Natalie Wells, who was battling brain cancer, shared her story of getting a terminal diagnosis. “In 2014, I was diagnosed with astrocytoma, which is terminal,” she said. “And my type of tumor is inoperable. It was very hard for me in the beginning. I was scared, because they used the word “terminal,” and they give you a time frame. And that was something that affected my day to day living in the beginning.”
Wells said the physical effects were life-altering. “There were times where I couldn’t walk without oxygen. I was using forearm sticks for a long time, because I couldn’t walk, because it was affecting my spine. And they actually had me enter hospice, and do an intake, and made sure I had a will and everything prepared for my children and my husband and everything in order. That was very hard for me to accept the fact that I had to put my affairs in order, because in my head, I wasn’t going anywhere. And I had told them, I’m not going anywhere. And that was in the beginning, that I will do whatever it takes to fight.”
While babies, like the late baby Henry, don’t yet have the mental capacity to embrace a “fighting spirit,” their parents may find strength in adopting a positive mindset, as Wells has done.
Coping with the Loss of a Child
Losing a child to cancer is devastating, and the grief process will likely be a long one. Many, like Delaney, find comfort and support from people who have been through similar experiences. In the caption of Delaney’s picture of him holding Henry, he notes his gratitude for the help he has gotten. He wrote, “Thank you forever to my community of bereaved parents who help me more than I can say.”
Seeking support in the form of family and friends, therapy, or support groups, can make the grief journey easier, if only slightly. It’s important to be gentle with yourself during this period, and know that everyone grieves at their own pace.
"Therapy Saved My Life" After Losing A Loved One, Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help
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