A Private Struggle
- Late actors Dustin Diamond, 44, and Chadwick Boseman, 43, both lost their battles to cancer. Diamond’s fear of getting photographed reportedly kept him from seeing a doctor sooner and Boseman, star of Black Panther was a very private person. Top Gun star Val Kilmer, 61, is a throat cancer survivor and prefers to be remembered by his legendary movie roles and not his illness.
- For millions of cancer patients, getting sick can take on element of fear and shame
- Some cancer survivors say the decision to share news about a diagnosis can be helpful because of the support that comes from friends and family. Mental health professionals say there is nothing wrong with deciding to keep your cancer private.
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Boseman, who was considered a real life superhero in the African-American community for his leading man status in the award-winning box office hit Black Panther, stunned his fans and the Hollywood community with his choice to keep his cancer battle private. According to an interview in The Hollywood Reporter with Bozeman’s agent Michael Greene, “Chadwick did not want to have people fuss over him. He was a very private person.” Greene shared that Bozeman was really in hard-core pain” working with Denzel Washington and August Wilson (in Ma’ Rainey’s Black Bottom) was “exciting to him” so he chose to keep working.
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Going through cancer as a “normal” person is hard enough as it is, so we have to understand their decisions to keep things quiet. The first thing you want to do after a cancer diagnosis is find ways to limit stress, and putting that news out to the world will just increase the amount of eyes on you, not to mention the paparazzi having a newfound interest in capturing photos to sell. While we commend those who publicly battle cancer to inspire others who are going through the same struggle, it is an actor’s right to not want to be known as “the guy with cancer.”
Val Kilmer is another private star who held off for a long time before announcing his throat cancer battle. He prefers to be remembered for playing studs like Jim Morrison in The Doors movie, ‘Iceman’ from Top Gun, and ‘Doc Holliday’ from Tombstone.
An Expert Opinion
Dr. Renee Exelbert, a licensed psychologist and founding director of The Metamorphosis Center for Psychological and Physical Change in New York, says that “the decision to openly disclose or not disclose one's diagnosis may be made more complicated for someone in the public eye, as they may feel pressure to serve as a role model, or to use their notable platform for the greater good.” She went on to explain that celebrities are often “held to a harsher standard, having their appearance and behaviors analyzed and scrutinized.” That would be pretty intense.
Overcoming Shame
There are no strict instructions that we can give one another when it comes to revealing a cancer diagnosis, and whatever you are comfortable with should be respected. However, for those fighting cancer and feeling ashamed or less adequate because of your diagnosis or specific type of cancer, we would like to assure you that it feels much better to get out of that mindset. You are never alone and should never feel ashamed by your diagnosis. Holding those feelings in can do more harm than good. But if you’re feeling more on the private side and prefer to only have a few close friends and family members along for your journey, then that’s okay too.
A Stage 4 Lung Cancer Survivor’s Story
Donna, a 56-year-old mom and grandmother shared her story with SurvivorNet in a previous interview. “My husband and I were always very conscious of our health. We had our preventative testing done, our yearly physicals, and ate right and exercised. One day she didn’t feel good and went to the doctor. He saw something concerning in her lungs. “They called me and said I had stage IV lung cancer. I was diagnosed at stage IV non-small cell lung cancer at the age of 54 years old.”
Donna said her bones were hurting, but aside from that did not have typical lung cancer symptoms. “If you have lungs, you can get lung cancer. Anybody can get lung cancer. I know 25-year-olds, 50-year-olds, 80-year-olds that get lung cancer that have never smoked in their lives.” She adds an important message that all late stage cancer thrivers need to hear. “Just because you have it splattered throughout your body doesn’t mean you’re not strong enough to kick its ass.”
If You Have Lungs, You Can Get Lung Cancer Survivor Donna Hunting Shares Her Story
A Colon Cancer Survivor
31-year-old filmmaker Derek Dienner told SurvivorNet that the day he was diagnosed with stage 3B colon cancer was "the hardest day of my life" But he also remembers that day August 24, 2007 "as the day I became alive." Check out his story here, on SurvivorNet TV, the first streaming network for America's 18-million cancer survivors. Although he'd been noticing symptoms, Deinner says it was "scary" to think that something could be wrong and see a doctor. On the morning of his colonoscopy, he remembers thinking that the day ahead could be "a big day" or it could be "just another day" depending on how his colonoscopy went.
Dienner decided to document his journey through surgery and chemotherapy on film. "Here I am 31 years old and dealing with colon cancer and the average age of colon cancer is 70," he says. "I never expected to be dealing with this at this point in my life."
Dienner shared vital advice for early detection of cancer. “You have to listen to your body. I had blood in my stool. And it was super scary for me to go into the doctor. But I realized that early detection to cancer is the key, so if you're going to have it, why not find out early in the process so it's not spread through your body."
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