Caring For Loved Ones
- “Forest Gump” actor Gary Sinise, 69, has recounted having his “hands full” a few years back, when his son and wife were battling cancer, his dad had a stroke, and his mom, who is now 92 years old, needed his care.
- Sinise’s wife Moira Harris is now cancer-free and in remission. They lost their son McCanna “Mac” Sinise to a rare bone cancer called chordoma earlier this year when he was just 33 years old.
- A caregiver may be a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a close friend, or a child. This special person often assumes multiple roles to make the life of their loved one battling cancer easier. Examples of caregiver activities may include attending doctor visits, helping the patient take notes and ask questions, providing transportation to treatment, and helping with everyday activities such as preparing meals.
- Being a caregiver is one of the most significant and challenging experiences a human can go through, and it’s important to not forget about your health as you dedicate a large part of your life to serving another.
- If you are caregiving for someone with cancer or another serious illness, this SurvivorNet guide can help you through.
Sinise, who lost his son McCanna “Mac” Sinise to a rare bone cancer called chordoma earlier this year and has since released a tribute album called “Resurrection & Revival: Part 2,” told Fox News Digital in a recent interview that his family’s health issues ultimately led him to leave Los Angeles and move to Tennessee in 2021 , after putting his acting career on hold in 2019.
Read MoreSinise’s son passed away at age 33 on January 5, 2023, five years after being diagnosed with chordoma, a rare type of cancer that occurs in the bones of the skull base and spine. It represents about 1%-4% of all primary bone tumors.
His August 2018 diagnosis followed his wife Moira Harris’ stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis that same year. However, she has been in remission after surgery, and months of chemotherapy and radiation.
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Looking back on his late son’s cancer fight, Sinise explained, “Our son was fighting this cancer with no cure. Trying to find drugs and doctors or anybody that could do anything for him was like a full-time job.
“Plus, he became more and more disabled by the cancer as time went on. … He needed more and more care.”
He added, “I will say this about Mac and the album that he made last year … he had achieved something that he set out to do, which was to record all this music in May and make a full album of it.
“That gave me a lot of joy … just watching him kind of enjoy those moments.”
Sinise ultimately released his son’s music in “Resurrection & Revival: Part 2” a few weeks ago.
In honor of the album, he took to Instagram to say, “Friends, I’m truly moved to share the presale launch of Resurrection and Revival: Part 2, an album created from my son Mac’s music. After Mac passed away on January 5, I began going through his files and discovered so many beautiful compositions that he had never released.
“With the help of his dear friend Oliver Schnee and some of Mac’s talented musician pals, we’ve been able to bring these pieces to life.”
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Sinise continued, “As Mac wanted with his first album, all proceeds from the vinyl sales of Part Two will also go to the @garysinisefoundation to support our mission.
“Thank you to all who have supported his vision and legacy with a purchase of his first album. There’s even more great music on this second record. Preorder your copy of Resurrection and Revival: Part 2 now, and we’ll begin shipping on November 10—Mac’s 34th birthday.”
Sinise and his wife, who married in 1981, have three children together, their late son Mac, Sophie and Ellla.
Understand Chordoma, The Rare Cancer Sinise’s Son Battled
According to the National Cancer Institute, Chordoma, which is also called notochordal sarcoma, “is a slow growing cancer of tissue found inside the spine.”
The disease can occur anywhere along the spine and is most often found near the tailbone (called a sacral tumor) or where the spine meets the skull (called a clival tumor).
“Chordomas form from the left-over cells that were important in the development of the spine before birth. These cells are called notochord cells. When the notochord cells don’t disappear after birth, they can turn into chordomas,” the NCI explains.
“Chordomas grow very slowly. Many people don’t notice any change in their bodies for years. When they do start to have symptoms, it can take a while for the chordoma to be discovered and diagnosed.”
SurvivorNet experts explain, that Chordomas can arise at any age but are most common in adults aged 50 to 80. Interestingly, it’s found to be slightly more prevalent in men than in women. It also affects only 1 in a million people each year globally.
Remember that while chordoma is indeed a rare and complex disease, it’s not insurmountable. With a solid understanding of what it is and how it works, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the journey. Not only does knowledge empower you, it can also help to alleviate the fear and uncertainty that often accompany a diagnosis.
Cancer Caregivers: The Basics
Assuming the role of a cancer caregiver when a spouse, parent, sibling, child, or friend is diagnosed with cancer comes with a unique set of responsibilities. The first thing to understand is that there is no shame is asking for help. This can be an overwhelming time for both patients and their caregivers, too.
Through interviews with expert oncologists, social workers, patients advocates, and more, we’ve come up with a checklist of helpful steps cancer caregivers can take throughout the journey.
Cancer caregivers may:
- Attend doctor visits with the patient
- Help the patient take notes/ask questions
- Provide transportation to and from treatment
- Accompany the patient during treatment
- Help keep track of side effects
- Link up with a social worker/patient navigator
- Help with day-to-day activities
- Provide emotional support
RELATED: Patrick Dempsey’s Advice to Cancer Caregivers: Take Care of Yourself, Too
How Cancer Caregivers Can Find Time to Care for Themselves
When you suddenly find yourself acting as a cancer caregiver, the lifestyle adjustment can be jarring. Many people welcome the role of cancer caregiver and the opportunity to help out someone they care about deeply but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Filling a caregiver role can be extremely stressful and caregivers often neglect their own needs, which can create a host of additional problems. Experts stress that you will be a better caregiver if you also prioritize caring for yourself. Taking care of your health whether that be with diet, exercise, or making time for activities you enjoy is still crucial.
Julie Bulger gives some tips on how caregivers can care for themselves.
“It is important to have some things that you can do that’s kind of outside of the focus of caring for somebody that you love with cancer,” Julie Bulger, manager of patient and family-centered care at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center in Nashville, told SurvivorNet.
Bulger suggested caregivers find some activities that help them relax like taking a walk or going for a massage.
Expert Resources On Caregiving
- Caregivers Can’t Provide Optimal Care for Their Loved Ones with Cancer If They Don’t Care for Themselves
- Caregiving: An Opportunity for Healing
- Caregiving Isn’t Easy; Recognize That You May Need Help
- Here Are Top Tips For Cancer Caregivers To Help Them Through The Process
- How to Be a Better Caregiver for Your Loved One
- Patrick Dempsey’s Advice to Cancer Caregivers: Take Care of Yourself, Too
RELATED: Check Out SurvivorNet’s Resources on Mental Health
“There’s a lot of opportunities for support virtually through educational resources, support communities,” she added. “You can talk to somebody. You can get therapy virtually now.”
When a stressful life event occurs like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer people respond in a variety of ways.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different and healthy ways to cope. For some people, this may mean seeking out traditional therapy, but it’s not the only option.
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik discusses how people may respond to stressors in very different ways.
If you are struggling mentally due to the stress of being a cancer caregiver, there are many options to help you cope. These include:
- Seeking professional help from a psychiatrist or therapist
- Learning healthy coping skills
- Medication such as antidepressants
- Adding more physical activity to your routine
- Adjusting your sleep schedule
- Connecting with others via support groups
- Mindfulness and meditation
Support Matters
Having a strong community around you is always ideal when challenged by health struggles.
Dealing with cancer or any sort of health battle for that matter can be overwhelming, so having physical and emotional support is crucial. That being said, it’s very important to know your limits on what you can handle as you undergo treatment and recover from your cancer, and that includes relationships.
“Going through [cancer] treatment is a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience,” licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin wrote in a column for SurvivorNet. “Noticing what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much, [is] extremely important to pay attention to as you navigate treatment.”
Finding Joy After Cancer Turns Your Life Upside-Down
Dr. Strongin does note, however, that having people by your side during this “arduous chapter” of your life can be hugely beneficial.
“Studies have found consistently that loneliness is a significant risk factor for physical and mental illnesses and the trajectory of recovery,” she wrote. “Therefore, it will be important that you surround yourself with individuals who care and support you throughout your treatment.”
In a previous chat with SurvivorNet, psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik added that some cancer warriors may need to look beyond their existing relationships to find the support they need.
“Some people don’t need to go outside of their family and friends circle. They feel like they have enough support there,” Dr. Plutchik said. “But for people who feel like they need a little bit more, it is important to reach out to a mental health professional.”
Seeking Support: Dr. Plutchik Shares The First 3 Things To Do After a Cancer Diagnosis
Dr. Plutchik said it’s best to find a mental health professional with experience aiding people undergoing cancer treatment.
“Make sure that the mental health professional that you work it is reaching out, with your consent, to the rest of your team, to the oncologist, to the surgeon,” she said. “It can also be helpful to reach out to family, friends, and any other caretakers that may be involved in the person’s treatment.”
Coping With A Child’s Cancer
When your child is diagnosed with cancer it may seem that the dreams you had for your family are falling apart. It’s important to to the best of your ability try to keep a level head after you’ve fully felt all of your emotions around the diagnosis.
You’re not alone in this journey your child’s oncologist and care team are there to guide you and provide information and answers. Oncological social workers are a fantastic resource to help you sort out the financial aspects of cancer treatment, as well as other cancer-related issues. Skilled psychologists and counselors can be accessed to help you maintain good mental health through your child’s cancer journey, to the best of your ability.
RELATED: “Therapy Saved My Life”: After Losing A Loved One, Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
And, don’t be afraid to reach out to your support system friends, relatives, etc. for help through this process. No one expects you to handle everything on your own.
SurvivorNet wants you to know that grief may look different for everyone if you have lost a loved one.
The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These labels help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. These stages can also occur in any order.
The time it takes to navigate these stages can also vary, so giving yourself grace and patience while navigating your feelings is important.
“It often gets better over time, but on certain days, it can look like depression, and on other days, people look perfectly normal and can function,” Dr. Scott Irwin, a board-certified psychiatrist and Director of Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, previously told SurvivorNet.
Dealing With Grief Related to Health Problems
Dr. Irwin added that grieving people are coming to terms with “the change in their life; the future they had imagined is now different.”
New York-based clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin says it may be helpful to remind yourself that these feelings are “meaningful yet temporary.”
“If you approach them with compassion, kindness, and eventually acceptance, you will come away from this period in your life more connected to your resilience and strength,” she wrote for SurvivorNet.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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