Supporting the Father of Her Children After Cancer Led to Adoption
- TODAY host Hoda Kotb, 57, is displaying an act of solidarity with ex fiancé Joel Schiffman, 64, as she posts a photo of him with their two adopted girls for father’s day. Haley Joy is 5, and Hope Catherine, 3.
- The breast cancer survivor was with the financier for eight years, and is forever grateful to him for supporting her dream of adoption after cancer threatened her fertility.
- Surrogacy and adoption are wonderful alternatives for cancer survivors and anyone else who may have issues getting pregnant on their own, or simply just because you choose to wait.
The breast cancer survivor was with the financier for eight years, and is forever grateful to him for supporting her dream of adoption after cancer threatened her fertility.
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“I'm so proud of you Hoda for posting this!” one fan wrote. “Bittersweet!”
“Class Act, Hoda!!” commented another.
“Happy Father's day! Wish you guys were back together,” said a third, and it did seem to be the overall consensus that the fans are still pro-Joel.
Hoda was open about the split on her show, as she clued fans in on her unfortunate news back in January, expressing their plan to co-parent amicably, and it appears that they are achieving their goal.
"We decided we are going to start this new year … on our new path as loving parents to our adorable, delightful children, and as friends," she announced on TODAY with Hoda & Jenna. "It's not like something happened. They say sometimes relationships are meant to be there for a reason, or a season or for a lifetime. And I feel like ours was meant to be there for a season."
Although Kotb says her "heart is open," and can see it happening at some point with a new partner, she is by all means not putting pressure on herself now.
"I haven't really thought about who I would see myself with, but I do have to say something," she said. "My sister even said and asked me at one point, 'Are afraid to be by yourself?' And I said to her, 'I'm not going to be by myself.’"
"I'm really enjoying my kids and my life," Kotb told Entertainment Tonight at The Hollywood Reporter's Annual Most Powerful People event. "I'm treasuring this time."
Hoda lost her father young, so it’s understandable how much she cherishes time with her own kids. She also posted a Father’s Day tribute pic of her late father, fossil energy specialist Abdel Kader Kotb, who she lost in 1986 to a heart attack at 51 years old.
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Clearly, Hoda has not been letting her break-up get in the way of her job and having fun as she also recently shared a video of her gyrating on stage with superstar Jon Batiste, who was the most-nominated artist at last year’s Grammys. He has scooped up five.
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Hoda Kotb's Journey to Motherhood
Kotb received her breast cancer diagnosis in February 2007 after doctors discovered lumps in her breast tissue during a routine exam. She was 43 at the time and underwent a mastectomy and reconstruction followed by five years taking the drug tamoxifen (Nolvadex). Kotb was devastated when her oncologist explained the realities of her fertility after breast cancer treatment. But like many other cancer survivors, she found her own way to parenthood.
In a recent conversation with Good Housekeeping, Kotb opened up about her fertility struggles after her battle with breast cancer.
"I remember that my oncologist called, and we were talking about freezing my eggs," Kotb said. "She basically said that given my age and (my breast cancer treatment), it was pretty close to a dead-end."
Can I Have a Baby After Breast Cancer?
Her reaction was, understandably, filled with sorrow. And at that moment, she doubted she'd ever realize her dream of becoming a mother.
"I was in my room, and I just sobbed. I thought, 'Well, that's that, isn't it?,'" Kotb said. "Like, you almost blame yourself. 'Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that?' So I just pushed it away because the reality seemed impossible to bear. She thanks her ex, Schiffman, for providing the support she needed to become a mother.
"I don't think I would've adopted if it hadn't been for Joel," she said of Schiffman. "Having a stable relationship in that moment was really important. Once that fell into place, it didn't seem as scary to me."
Fertility and Cancer Treatment
Infertility can be a side effect of some cancer treatments, but there are options to consider. Fertility preservation, for example, is available to women of childbearing age. Options for women include:
- Egg and embryo freezing (the most common practice)
- Ovarian tissue freezing
- Ovarian suppression to prevent the eggs from maturing so that they cannot be damaged during treatment.
- Ovarian transposition, for women getting radiation to the pelvis, to move the ovaries out of the line of treatment.
No matter what course of action you choose to take, it is important that all women feel comfortable discussing their options prior to cancer treatment.
In a previous conversation with SurvivorNet, Dr. Jaime Knopman, a reproductive endocrinologist at CCRM NY, says time is precious when dealing with fertility preservation for women with cancer. In other words, the sooner the better when it comes to having these important fertility conversations with your doctor.
"The sooner we start, the sooner that patient can then go on and do their treatment," Dr. Knopman said. "A lot of the success comes down to how old you are at the time you froze and the quality of the lab in which your eggs or embryos are frozen in."
Related: Freezing Eggs Or Embryos: What Should I Do?
When it comes to breast cancer patients specifically, there are some unique challenges for women with the disease. Dr. Elizabeth Comen, a medical oncologist at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, outlines them in a previous interview with SurvivorNet:
Young women who need chemotherapy could have their fertility significantly affected because many chemotherapy drugs can damage a woman's eggs. If women are on a medication to stop the hormones which feed their specific kind of breast cancer, they may not be able to get pregnant for several yearsin some instances 10 years.
Many stage four breast cancers need estrogen to grow. Pregnancy is a very, very high hormonal state, so it's not recommended in these cases, however, it's important to do whatever feels right to you. Discussing these options with your care team will help you come to the right decision for you.
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