Difficult Moments of Motherhood for Survivors
- News personality Hoda Kotb, 61, recently addressed one of the difficult aspects of motherhood to TODAY with Hoda & Jenna co-host Jenna Bush Hager, 40.
- While out and about, the breast cancer survivor says she sometimes encounters people who are surprised that she is the mother to her young adopted daughters, Haley, 5, and Hope, 3, which admittedly makes her contemplate the time she has left with them.
- Cancer survivors, and women in general past a certain age, have more options now more than ever to experience motherhood, and if that’s something you want, go for it, regardless of your age.
While out and about, the New York-based journalistwho lost the option to have children naturally due to cancer treatmentwill often get surprised remarks from strangers when they discover that she is the girls’ mother.
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In the segment, the on and off-screen pals had been discussing controversial tech billionaire Elon Musk’s mother Maye Musk, who just graced the cover of Sports Illustrated at 74 years old.
While admiring Maye’s beautynot to mention the outlet’s bold and empowering choice to grace a woman of a certain age on the coverHoda was particularly moved by her quotes on being a single mom.
“I couldn’t even go on a date because I was afraid we’d have to split the bill and then I couldn’t feed my kids,” the Tesla giant’s mom said. “That’s what you have to do when you have to survive.”
Hoda proceeds to salute these women working two or three jobs to take care of their families. “Hats off to single moms,” she said.
The podcast host recently became single herself after announcing her split with financier Joel Schiffman, 64, who is the father to their adopted girls, Haley, 5, and Hope. 3.
Hoda and Schiffman got engaged in November 2019 after spending six years together. But in January, Kotb shared the two had called off their engagement. Luckily, the pair still appears to be amicable and co-parent their daughter, which Hoda realizes is a fortunate situation, along with her successful career.
Despite the split, Hoda may look like she has it all, but she has had her share of difficult times after battling breast cancer. The survivor underwent a mastectomy, and also had the horrific realization that her fertility was threatened due to cancer treatment, which is why she decided to adopt later in life when the time was right since it looked like conceiving naturally was not an option.
Hoda Kotb's Breast Cancer Journey
Kotb received her breast cancer diagnosis in February 2007 after doctors discovered lumps in her breast tissue during a routine exam. She was 43 at the time and underwent a mastectomy and reconstruction followed by five years taking the drug tamoxifen (Nolvadex).
"Cancer shaped me, but it did not define me. It's part of me, but not all of me," Kotb said at an annual Breast Cancer Research Foundation New York Symposium and Awards Luncheon in 2017.
She's still cancer-free today, but Kotb has since opened up about her fertility struggles following her breast cancer battle.
"I remember that my oncologist called, and we were talking about freezing my eggs," Kotb told Good Housekeeping in April. "She basically said that given my age and (my breast cancer treatment), it was pretty close to a dead-end."
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Her reaction was, understandably, filled with sorrow. And at that moment, she doubted she'd ever realize her dream of becoming a mother.
"I was in my room, and I just sobbed. I thought, 'Well, that's that, isn't it?,'" Kotb said. "Like, you almost blame yourself. 'Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that?' So I just pushed it away because the reality seemed impossible to bear.
"How do you survive knowing you can't have what you desire and what you feel like you actually physically need?"
Even though Hoda is currently single, her path with Joel was absolutely worth it, and that’s an understatement.
"I don't think I would've adopted if it hadn't been for Joel," she said of Schiffman. "Having a stable relationship in that moment was really important. Once that fell into place, it didn't seem as scary to me."
While you don’t need to have a partner in your life to become a mother or father, it’s important not to beat yourself over it if it doesn’t work out. Children are a gift, and if that is something you want to experience, there are many options out there for survivorsor non survivorsto explore.
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