Finding Love Again After Loss
- Actress Valerie Bertinelli says she’s not trying to date anytime soon after her recent divorce and losing her “soulmate” ex-husband Eddie Van Halen to cancer.
- Bertinelli was married to the late guitarist Van Halen from 1981 to 2007, but they continued a beautiful relationship as co-parents and friends.
- It’s important to know that grief after losing a loved one to cancer, or for any reason at all, will look different for everyone – and that’s OK.
- Bertinelli advises people coping with loss to allow themselves to feel exactly how they're feeling. She did so by writing her memoir.
- Camilla Legaspi previously spoke with SurvivorNet about the topic of grief after losing her mother to breast cancer. She says therapy “saved [her] life” by helping her realize “there was still so much out there for [her].”
Bertinelli has been through a lot in recent years. In May 2022, she filed for divorce from her estranged husband Tom Vitale, 59, citing "irreconcilable differences," as reported by USA TODAY. The news came after the couple married in January 2011.
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“When someone asks if I’ll start dating again soon,” Bertinelli wrote over a video of her smiling before mouthing the words “f*ck no” over a musical audio.
Valerie Bertinelli on the Loss of Her Soulmate
Valerie Bertinelli is clearly missing Eddie Van Halen and the meaningful time they spent together. Her cheeky video comes amid frequent posts of throwback photos of Van Halen and other family members.
Van Halen and Bertinelli were married from 1981 to 2007 and had one child together named Wolfgang, 32. Despite their separation, Bertinelli called Van Halen her "soulmate."
"I just don't feel like I've ever been loved like that, in that way, from anybody else," she's said. "I just feel a connection with Ed that I've never really felt with anyone else."
Although their relationship was turbulent over the years, the two did reach "a beautiful place together" before Van Halen’s passing. Looking back on it all, Bertinelli says their time together taught her an invaluable lesson.
"Love," she explained.
"If there's nothing else in this world, go back to that key point that you know you have inside you, that you know that you feel for the people that are closest to you. That love. Love always wins no matter what, even when they're gone.
"There's still that love there to be grateful for that you had."
Coping With Grief
Moving forward after losing a loved one to cancer, or for any other reason, can look different for everyone. There’s no one way to cope, but Valerie Bertinelli found solace in writing her memoir "Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today."
"I was able to really speak to it and not shove all of the grief down. I am so used to shoving all of my feelings down and not feeling them and using food so I wouldn't have to deal with my feelings," she said.
"And I think it was extremely cathartic.
“I would advise it to anybody, if you are going through a really strong feeling, write it down. It really, really does help.”
"Therapy Saved My Life": After Losing A Loved One, Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help
For Camilla Legaspi, talking to a therapist proved to be helpful in processing her emotions after losing her mother to breast cancer while in high school.
"Therapy saved my life," Legaspi said.
"I was dealing with some really intense anxiety and depression at that point. It just changed my life, because I was so drained by all the negativity that was going on. Going to a therapist helped me realize that there was still so much out there for me, that I still had my family, that I still had my siblings."
Whether you decide to talk to a therapist, write down your thoughts, join a support group, take time for yourself, reconnect with others or explore one of many other ways to cope after suffering a heartbreaking loss, know you have options.
Additionally, try to remember that while time does not heal everything, it can make things better.
"When you lose someone, it's really, really, really hard," Legaspi said.
"I'm so happy that I talked to my therapist. Keep your chin up, and it's going to be OK. No matter what happens, it's going to be OK."
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