Think Twice When Talking to Loved Ones With Cancer
- People with cancer need love and support throughout their journey.
- While people may have good intentions, some things they say can be hurtful.
- The most important thing you can do for someone fighting cancer is to treat them normally and be there for them.
And let's face it, people with cancer already have enough to deal with, without the added sting of someone's unwise words. A young woman named Tess Halbert posted a video on TikTok under her user name "bessybaddie" that calls out some of the things people say to her that are unhelpful at best.
Read More- I know like 10 people who have died of cancer.
- You have eyebrows and hair. You don't really have cancer.
- You should quit chemotherapy and try this tea. I've heard it cures cancer.
- Oh my goodness, I've always wanted to shave my head.
- At least you have a ton of free time. I'm so busy with schoolwork. You're so lucky.
- If anyone can beat this, you can.
- Do you think you're going to survive this, or no?
- That's a good cancer to have. At least you don't have brain cancer.
- You're so brave. I could never do what you do every day.
- I've always wanted to shave my head.
- So, what did you do that caused this cancer?
- Well, at least it's only stage three, so it's still curable
@bessybaddie there’s so many things u can say and these shouldn’t be any of them #cancer #chemo #radiation #lymphoma #fyp #foryou
♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys – Kevin MacLeod & Kevin The Monkey
Two-time cancer survivor Bianca Muniz explains how she found a support system during treatment
How to Support Someone Fighting Cancer
Halbert also posted another TikTok video with advice of about things people should say and do. Her advice is to treat them like themselves.
"Treat them normally," she says. "Just 'cuz I have cancer doesn't mean I'm not Tess. I'm still exactly me. I'm just doing some special steps to stay alive.”
She said it's also helpful to listen. "My biggest insecurity was that I was complaining too much and talking too much. But you know, it's a big thing going on in your life."
@bessybaddie Reply to @ananarama here’s, in my opinion, the best way to go about it
Also, call and FaceTime them. She said there's a lot of time spent in the hospital with nothing to do and people checking in with you is helpful.
Related: 27 Thoughtful Gift Ideas to Support Loved Ones Through a Cancer Journey
The support of friends and family is vital to those facing cancer, but not everyone is able or willing to offer that support. In an interview with SurvivorNet, breast cancer survivor Amy Grantham talks about how she learned who her real friends were throughout her cancer journey.
"I very quickly learned who was really there in my life and who was just kind of on the outskirts of it when it was good for them or convenient for them," she told SurvivorNet. "And it cut right through to the people that are most important in my life. Every single person that I've talked to and that I know who had cancer says the exact same thing … it really shows you who your tru -blue friends are that are around you and who the bullshitters are."
There's no doubt that cancer is tough on everyone involved, and no one is going to get it right all the time. The most important thing is to show up, be there and offer as much love and support as possible.
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