Kate Middleton's Cancer Journey
- Catherine, the Princess of Wales, better known as Kate Middleton, 43, has announced that she’s relieved to be in remission in her cancer journey and she’s now returning to a “new normal.”
- Middleton revealed earlier last year that an abdominal surgery she underwent in March ultimately revealed that cancer “had been present” in her body. However, she has not yet specified the exact type of cancer she was diagnosed with. She also completed chemotherapy treatment last year.
- Although Middleton hasn’t opened up about the specifics of her cancer journey and how treatment has affected her in private, it’s important to understand that many women experience sexual side effects both during and after treatment for various types of cancers, but most won’t address the topic with their doctors.
- Memorial Sloan Kettering clinical health psychologist and sexual health therapist Dr. Jeanne Carter previously explained to SurvivorNet that many women who experience sexual issues feel ashamed because they don’t understand how common these problems are.
- “Patients actually feel like it’s just them, that no one else is having these issues,” Dr. Carter said. “So, I think it’s important for healthcare providers to raise the topic so it can normalize their experience, as well as give them an avenue to get information and support.”
Middleton, 43, took to social media this week to announce she’s relieved to “now be in remission” and she’s now concentration on recovery.
Read MoreShe continued, “As well as promoting patient and family wellbeing, we might save many more lives, and transform the experience of all those impacted by cancer.”
However, aside from helping others, we’re sure Middleton will be back to spending quality time with her sweet children and husband.
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Communication Is Key When Getting Back To Relationships
A life-altering diagnosis can impact the patient and their loved ones emotionally and physically, whether it be with their children, friends, family, or partner.
Research published in The Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine studied the impact of a cancer diagnosis or disease on family members. It found, “Most chronic diseases have similar effects on family members including psychological and emotional functioning, disruption of leisure activities, effect on interpersonal relationships, and financial resources.”
Feelings of “helplessness, lack of control, guilt, anger, embarrassment” are some common emotions parents, siblings, and other relatives within the household of someone battling a health condition may experience, according to researchers.
MacMillan Cancer Support, a charity that advocates for cancer patients, says communication is a vital tool in helping support a partner with cancer, and it could help a couple understand each other better.
“It can help to ask your partner what support they would like and find useful. This makes sure you help where it is most wanted and needed. It can also help you avoid misunderstandings,” the charity said.
Communicating your feelings is something licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin also believes is vital to helping couples dealing with a cancer diagnosis.
She adds that people faced with cancer should “surround [themselves] with individuals who care and support [them]” throughout treatment while also acknowledging their limits on what they can handle.
“Going through [cancer] treatment is a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience,” Dr. Strongin wrote in a column for SurvivorNet. “Noticing what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much [is] extremely important to pay attention to as you navigate treatment.”
Sex After Cancer: How Women Can Connect the Body & Mind
Although Middleton hasn’t opened up about the specifics of her cancer journey and how treatment has affected her in private, it’s important to understand that many women experience sexual side effects both during and after treatment for various types of cancers, but most won’t address the topic with their doctors.
Not speaking out to their doctors could be because they feel embarrassed, uncomfortable, or because there’s simply so much going on during treatment, that women forget to think about sexual health.
Sex After Cancer: What’s the Difference Between Lubricant and Moisturizer?
Remember, it’s important for patients to understand that a healthy sex life is attainable after facing cancer, though it may look a little different.
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Memorial Sloan Kettering clinical health psychologist and sexual health therapist Dr. Jeanne Carter previously explained to SurvivorNet that many women who experience sexual issues feel ashamed because they don’t understand how common these problems are.
“Patients actually feel like it’s just them, that no one else is having these issues,” Dr. Carter said. “So, I think it’s important for healthcare providers to raise the topic so it can normalize their experience, as well as give them an avenue to get information and support.”
When it comes to physical discomfort, as some cancer treatments can lead to menopause or menopause-like symptoms, the sexual side effects can result in emotional and physical pain.
Expert Resources On Coping With Emotions & Relationship Advice After Battling Cancer
- ‘Strong in Cancer’: Navigating New Relationships and Motherhood While Fighting Cancer Is Challenging. We Offer Solutions.
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- Stand-Up Comedian & Cancer Caregiver, Jesus Trejo Reminds Us That ‘Laughter is a Game-Changer’
- “I’m Looking Forward to Good Sex Again” San Diego Resident Jackie Liu’s Survivor Story
- Sex After Cancer: How Women Can Connect the Body & Mind and Find the Right Products
Therefore, any discomfort felt amid sex or sexual activity can quickly prompt a loss of sexual excitement. Dr. Carter made it a point to stress the importance of using lubricants and moisturizers.
Dr. Carter explained, “A lot of times people feel like lubricants are the solution, and they are part of the solution, but they are not the entire solution. When you don’t have estrogen, you usually are not having moisture in the vagina, as well as on the vulva.”
It’s important to make sure the vulva, or the external part of a woman’s genitals, is well-moisturized as well, Dr. Carter said. There are options for both non-hormonal moisturizers and low-dose estrogen moisturizers. Dr. Carter gave examples of a few non-hormonal products that work well for many women—like Hyalo Gyn, Replens, Revaree— and noted that women dealing with cancer side effects will usually need to moisturize more often.
SN & You: Discussing Sex and Sexuality After Cancer
“We find that women need to moisturize more in the cancer setting, like 3 to 5 times per week, whereas the product instructions will tell you to only use it 2 to 3 times a week and only in the vagina,” Dr. Carter added.
As for the emotional aspect of it, Dr. Carter explained, “Sexuality is physical and emotional and they’re completely enmeshed, so you can’t really treat this without addressing both of those issues.
“I think women going through a cancer experience are just really trying to make sense of what their body is going through.”
Whether you are mourning the loss of a body part, like breasts after a mastectomy, or trying to find the confidence to date again after treatment, there is support and guidance available.
Gynecological nurse practitioner Ashley Arkema also spoke to SurvivorNet on sex after cancer, advising, “I just encourage people to explore on their own some. Sometimes people say that they have a lack of interest, but a lot of times the lack of interest is directly correlated to the pain.
“If sex over time is painful over and over again, then you start to develop a negative association with it. So, I usually try to encourage people to explore on their own or limit activity to external stimulation until they feel like they’re able to tolerate penetrative sex.”
From trying new things in the bedroom to seeking the guidance of a therapist or peers in a support group, there should be options for women seeking all different types of support.
Dr. Carter and Arkema both stressed that women dealing with any sort of sexual side effects can find help, but the solutions will take some time and take some getting used to.
“A lot of these changes [to the body] happen very quickly and I think people are ready at different times to be ready to address it,” Dr. Carter said. “So, we always start with the physical stuff, because I think it actually slows women down to really treat these symptoms and connect with their body in a positive way because they’re healing and nurturing.
“There’s a lot to be said about that. Taking time and effort to actually pay attention to these areas and to touch these areas and to try to heal these areas I think wakes up something for women that there’s a part of their body that maybe they weren’t paying attention to.”
Sex & Intimacy
Sex is something that’s often overlooked when it comes to cancer treatment. Doctors are so focused on keeping patients alive, that the sexual side effects that come with cancer treatment aren’t really factored in as an important part of the equation. This is an issue that comes up often when we interview both male and female survivors.
But cancer can also open up doors to exploring your body in a way you never have before. Breast cancer survivor Ericka Hart said anyone worrying that they may never have sex again after facing cancer, really shouldn’t.
Kink and BDSM can be a ‘beautiful way to reclaim your body,’ says survivor Ericka Hart
“If you’ve just been diagnosed and you are thinking you’re never going to have sex again, think again,” Hart said, sharing that it helped her learn a new sexual avenue.
“Kink and BDSM was a huge part of my healing. When you go through breast cancer, it’s almost like a non-consensual pain you’re going through … but to have someone spank you, or flog you, or even choke you in a consensual way that you’re asking for can be a really beautiful way to reclaim your body.”
RELATED: “I Just Want to Have Sex Again” Life After Treatment
Expressing fantasies, watching adult films together — from the highly tasteful to the taboo — and reading erotic poetry or literature are other ways to spice up your sex life as a couple (or to explore individually).
If single, online dating may open up opportunity for virtual communication sexually. Some feel more fulfilled just having an emotional connection with someone, even if the person is across the world.
Watch: SN & You: Discussing Sex and Sexuality After Cancer
Coping With Body Image
It’s common for cancer survivors to struggle with the physical part of their own health journey, clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin previously told SurvivorNet.
“Your body has changed and represents this difficult chapter in your life and simply accepting all of that is far too simple,” said Strongin.
To help combat these feelings, Strongin suggests to spend time in front of the mirror looking at the parts you truly love, adding, “Give them time, honor them and then thank them.”
Strongin then says to spend time looking at the part (or parts) of your body that have been impacted by cancer or disease, such as your chest where your breasts have been removed, or your head where there is no longer hair.
Celebrity Stylist Ann Caruso says dressing your best can make you feel better while going through cancer.
“At first you may experience a flood of emotions — this is expected and normal. As you allow yourself to spend more time looking at all of you, you will begin having a new relationship with your body,” Strongin explained.
“It may not happen immediately, but with time you can begin honoring and thanking that part of your body by creating a more accepting relationship with yourself.”
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
- What are the potential side effects of my cancer treatment?
- What kind of products can I use to help improve my sex life?
- Is there anything my partner should be aware of before we are intimate?
- What can I do if I feel self-conscious or frustrated about changes to my body?
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.
