55-Year-Old Man Was Urged By His Wife To See Doctor For Struggles ‘In The Bedroom.’ It Turned Out To be Prostate Cancer: ‘Men Tend To Get Embarrassed … But I Listened To Her’

RELATED: Prostate Cancer: Overview  

He explained, “I very rarely go to a doctor. I class myself as fit and healthy, but my wife said ‘maybe you need some little blue pills’ [referring to Viagra]. Men tend to get embarrassed about talking about these things, but I listened to her.

“I went to the doctor. People have asked me what made me go to the GP and I was embarrassed and initially kept that to myself. Now I have spoken about things I never imagined I could.”

Although Maclachlan’s cancer was thankfully caught an an early stage, the diagnosis still came as a shock.

Recounting how he informed his wife and family about his diagnosis, he explained, “I was at work and had to go home and tell my wife. It must have been a good four or five hours before I managed to tell her, and we hadn’t told the children anything at this point, we had kept it to ourselves.”

In May 2023, after going over his treatment options with his doctor, he had his prostate removed and a catheter being put in. Days later he suffered a blood clot, which sent him back to the hospital, where he learned that although he no longer had prostate cancer, a mass was discovered on his kidney.

“It was totally unrelated, and they were 99.9% sure it was cancerous. The nurse couldn’t believe it and said no-one has this luck,” he continued, “I had never heard of kidney cancer and there isn’t a test for it, other than a scan. We were able to find out about prostate cancer, but we were totally blind about kidney cancer.”

After seeing a specialist, undergoing further scans, he had surgery on his kidney and two-weeks later was told the cancer had been removed and no additional treatment was needed.

Overall, Maclachlan admits to feeling “great and very lucky” for his wife pushing him to see a doctor for his “bedroom” issue, and now he’s urging other men, “You have to talk about things, and if there is something wrong you have to go to the GP. It may be nothing but it maybe something.

“Luckily, I went and got checked out.”

Maclachlan, who also noted that his late dad never told him about his own prostate cancer journey until years later, concluded, “I know it’s difficult, but people have got to talk about these things.”

Understanding Prostate Cancer

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with prostate cancer, it’s important to remember that most types of prostate cancers are treatable. According to the National Cancer Institute, the five-year survival rate of prostate cancer in the U.S. is 97.1%. There is, however, a small number of men whose type of prostate cancer may become unresponsive to treatment, for example, when cancer cells develop a resistance hormone therapy, the treatment may no longer work.

Prostate cancer begins in the prostate the walnut-shaped gland located between the rectum and bladder that produces the fluid that nourishes sperm. Outside of skin cancers, prostate cancer is the most common cancer in American men with about one in eight men being diagnosed with this disease during his lifetime.

Also, a prostate cancer diagnosis is not always preceded by symptoms. And even when symptoms do occur, they can be inconsistent and hard to pinpoint.

“Prostate cancer is a very odd disease in that it doesn’t have a particular symptom,” Dr. Edwin Posadas, director of translational oncology and the medical director of the Urologic Oncology Program at Cedars-Sinai, told SurvivorNet.

Still, it’s important to note changes in urinary function, like urinating more or less often or waking up at night to go more than usual, could be a sign of prostate cancer. So, even if you think there’s nothing to worry about, always talk to your doctor about changes to your health when they occur.

There are many different treatment options for both early and later-stage prostate cancer including active surveillance, watchful waiting, surgery, radiation, cryotherapy, hormone therapy, chemotherapy, immunotherapy and targeted therapy. The disease is one where doctors may have differing opinions on the best treatment path to take, so don’t hesitate to ask lots of questions and seek out multiple opinions.

Second (& Third) Opinions Matter When Deciding Between Surgery or Radiation

“I think it behooves the patient to have multiple discussions or second opinions, not only by the urologist who did the biopsy and diagnosed that man, but also with other surgeons and other radiation oncologist just to get a very circumspect view of what the treatment options are,” Dr. Jim Hu, a urologic oncologist at Weill Cornell Medicine, told SurvivorNet. “Oftentimes, I think patients need to understand that our health system is based a lot on fee-for-service medicine.

“And so therefore, a lot of physicians, I think, who are very well intentioned, will believe that their treatment is best for that particular man,” Dr. Hu added.

When Should I Get Tested for Prostate Cancer?

Prostate cancer screening methods look for possible signs of the disease, but they can’t determine for sure if you have cancer. A prostate biopsy is the only way to confirm if the patient has prostate cancer.

Screening generally involves a PSA (prostate-specific antigen) test and a digital rectal exam to feel the prostate gland. The prostate-specific antigen is a protein secreted by the prostate gland, large amounts of which can indicate prostate cancer.

It’s slightly uncomfortable but painless, and takes less than 30 seconds,” Dr. Posadas said of these methods. “The amount of information that is gained from that is tremendous, and it can be a life-and-death type decision that is made.”

Though the PSA test is not always accurate and an elevated PSA test does not always mean you have prostate cancer, our experts maintain that these tests are helpful. Make sure to discuss your options with your doctors and decide what screening should look like for you.

Surgery Isn’t Always the First Option; Some Choose ‘Active Surveillance’

It’s common for prostate cancer to grow very slowly. Some men, especially those who are older and those who have a low risk of the cancer spreading, may not need aggressive treatment, making active surveillance a viable option.

WATCH: People With Low-Risk Prostate Cancer Can Rely on Monitoring the Disease

Active surveillance means the doctor watches the cancer carefully for changes, with a PSA blood test every six months and a digital rectal exam about once a year. You may also get prostate biopsies and imaging tests every one to three years.

SurvivorNet experts stress active surveillance is not “watchful waiting.” Active surveillance is a treatment, and as the name implies, it is active. This path requires coordination between the patient and their healthcare team.

“[It’s] not just kind of check in once a year—hey, how are you doing—but actively have a physician check a PSA and do a rectal examination,” Dr. Edwin Posadas, director of the Translational Oncology Program at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, told SurvivorNet.

“We can actually see some of the metabolic information within the cells through our next-generation imaging and find high-risk areas that are or are not changing in a patient to let us know, yeah, that cancer’s still sleeping. Let’s not bother– let’s not put that young man through the risk of losing his sexual quality of life or his urinary quality of life,” Dr. Posadas added.

Half of men who choose this approach will avoid unnecessary treatment and potential side effects.

But the other half of men do end up having treatment, whether as a personal decision to remove the cancer or to treat the disease as it progresses. Your doctor will determine if this is necessary based on the results of your ongoing tests.

Prostate Cancer Screening Guidelines & The Importance of Early Detection

It’s unclear if the benefits of prostate cancer screening outweigh the risks for most men. Nevertheless, screening can be life-saving, and it’s important to discuss the pros and cons of screening and your risk factors for the disease with your doctor.

The American Cancer Society (ACS) recommends “men have a chance to make an informed decision with their health care provider about whether to be screened for prostate cancer” after “getting information about the uncertainties, risks, and potential benefits of prostate cancer screening.”

The ACS says the discussion about prostate cancer screening should take place at:

• Age 50 for men who are at average risk of prostate cancer and are expected to live at least 10 more years.
• Age 45 for men at high risk of developing prostate cancer. This includes African Americans and men who have a first-degree relative (father or brother) diagnosed with prostate cancer at an early age (younger than age 65).
• Age 40 for men at even higher risk (those with more than one first-degree relative who had prostate cancer at an early age).

Questions for Your Doctor

If you have experienced symptoms associated with prostate cancer or have a screening coming up, here are some questions you may ask your doctor:

• If I have elevated PSA levels, what could be causing that besides cancer?
• How long will it take to learn if my PSA levels warrant further testing?
• What are the treatment options that are best suited for me based on my risk level?
• What financial resources exist to help me with the costs associated with treatment?
• How long will my potential treatment prevent me from working or continuing normal activities?

When Is It Okay to Share Your Diagnosis?

Some people battling a disease or cancer are open to sharing their experiences as much as they can, while others prefer to keep it to themselves or close loved ones. SurvivorNet experts say both approaches and everything in between, are valid.

“Patients who have just been diagnosed with cancer sometimes wonder how they are going to handle the diagnosis of the cancer in social situations,” psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik explains.

Asking questions like “How much information should they share and with whom should they share the information?” are things Plutchik says patients take into consideration. She adds, “There is no one right way to handle this diagnosis. People should do what feels right to them.”

WATCH: Sharing a Diagnosis

A cancer journey can last months to years, which means cancer warriors may be experiencing a lot of uncertainty until they fully understand where their health stands. This uncertainty can influence when a cancer patient is ready to share their diagnosis, Dr. Plutchik further explained.

Dr. Plutchik stresses that those close to a person going through cancer should be respectful of their wishes when it comes to disclosing their diagnosis and seeking support.

You Shouldn’t Die of Embarrassment

Dr. Zuri Murrell, a colorectal surgeon at Cedars-Sinai, previously told SurvivorNet, “I tell [my patients] that you shouldn’t die from fear, and you shouldn’t die from embarrassment — and that’s really the only two reasons that people are dying from this disease today.

“If you’re experiencing symptoms … you shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk to a doctor about it.”

Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff

Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.

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