Coping With Retirement & a Loved One's Cancer Diagnosis
- Tennis star Pete Sampras, 52, whose wife Bridgette Wilson Sampras has been battling ovarian cancer since last year, has opened up about the overwhelming emotions he felt, and the weight gain he experienced, in the wake of retirement—something caregivers in the SurvivorNet community can relate to.
- Although retirement is totally different from caregiving, both are major life changes which can result in feeling a loss of purpose or a range of emotions.
- Caregivers play a huge role in one’s cancer journey, as they provide both emotional and physical help for those battling cancer. However, caregivers often don’t prioritize their own needs, something which can lead to overwhelming emotions and even weight gain.
- Ovarian cancer has been called the “cancer that whispers” because women often don’t experience symptoms until their cancer has already reached its late stages.
- SurvivorNet offers a comprehensive guide to ovarian cancer features advice from some of the nation’s top gynecologic oncologists, to guide you through every stage of the diagnosis and treatment process. Check out SN Local, featuring 20 cities across the U.S., to explore expertise and community near you.
The 14-time Grand Slam singles champion previously admitted he “put on some weight” amid his emotional transition into retirement, something that often happens to caregivers as taking on the multi-faceted role can cause people to put their needs on low priority.
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“You wake up [and say], ‘Okay, what am I going to do today?’ To be 31, 32 and retired is great but at the same time I’ve always been a worker, since I was a teenager.”
RELATED: Doug Wendt, Who Lost His Wife To Ovarian Cancer, Shares An Important Message For Caregivers
He continued, “So to say ‘Cold turkey I’m done’, at first it was great but after a few years it felt like I needed something more to do.
“The last couple of years I’ve missed it more than when I first retired. But it’s a brutal sport this one and it took a lot out of me. I needed a few years to decompress and take a deep breath to get to a point where I’d like to play again.”
In another interview, conducted in 2011, Sampras explained, ” When you retire, you sort of decompress. You don’t want to work out or hit any balls, so I just completely went cold turkey, became a ‘golf potato’ and a couch potato. And all of a sudden, I saw pictures of me,” The Palm Beach Post reports.
He insisted that seeing those photos of himself inspired him to get back to working out, sweating, and golfing amid family time, adding, “I think we all have a little pride in still playing well.
“I don’t want to be an old, retired guy that’s sort of lost my way.”
Meanwhile, retirement hasn’t been the only arduous time Sampras has dealt with, as his wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer last year.
In a posted a statement via the ATP Tour on X (formerly Twitter) in October, the news of his wife’s cancer diagnoses had been revealed.
“As most have come to know, I am a pretty quiet and private person. However, this past year has been an exceptionally challenging time for my family and I have decided to share what’s been going on,” Sampras said.
“Last December, my wife, Bridgette, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Since then, she has had major surgery, pushed through chemotherapy and continues with targeted maintenance therapy.”
A message from Pete 🙏 pic.twitter.com/ZReXGOCUQs
— ATP Tour (@atptour) October 29, 2023
Sampras, who shares two sons with his wife, who he married in 2000, added, “It is hard to watch someone you love go through a challenge like this. However, seeing our boys step up and be such strong supporters of Bridgette, myself and each other has been amazing.”
He continued, “Watching Bridgette continue to be an incredible mom and wife through it all has been inspiring … I have also learned that it is very hard to reach for support when something is simply too hard to talk about.
Expert Resources On Caregiving
- Caregiving: An Opportunity for Healing
- Caregiving Isn’t Easy; Recognize That You May Need Help
- ‘A Sacred and Blessed Calling’ – Managing Life As a Caregiver
- “Be Proud Of What You’re Doing” — Justine Almada’s Ode to Cancer Caregivers
- How to Be a Better Caregiver for Your Loved One
- Here Are Top Tips For Cancer Caregivers To Help Them Through The Process
- Patrick Dempsey’s Advice to Cancer Caregivers: Take Care of Yourself, Too
- SurvivorNetTV Presents: Care to Laugh — A Comedian & Cancer Caregiver’s Quest To Make People Smile
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“With that said, I am humbling asking for good thoughts and prayers for our family as Bridgette continues to thrive on her healing journey.”
Aside from caregiving tools, SurvivorNet also offers a comprehensive guide to ovarian cancer features advice from some of the nation’s top gynecologic oncologists, to guide you through every stage of the diagnosis and treatment process.
Check out SN Local, featuring 20 cities across the U.S., to explore expertise and community near you.
Understanding Ovarian Cancer & How To Treat The Disease
Ovarian cancer has been called the “cancer that whispers,” because women often don’t experience symptoms until their cancer has already reached its late stages.
The symptoms that do appear at first are hard to identify as cancer. This subtlety of symptoms makes it essential for women to know the warning signs, and report them to their doctor.
The term ovarian cancer refers to a number of different tumors that grow in the ovary. The ovaries produce the sex hormone, estrogen, as well as eggs. Every woman has two ovaries, one on either side of her uterus. The fallopian tube picks up the egg from the ovary and carries it to the uterus for fertilization.
Many ovarian cancers actually begin in the fallopian tubes. A few cancerous cells first grow on the fallopian tubes and then, as the fallopian tubes brush over the ovary, these cells stick to the ovaries and eventually grow to form a tumor.
Though it is unclear what stage Sampras’ wife’s cancer is, since he previously mentioned maintenance therapy in his announcement, that denotes the cancer to be either stage 3 or 4.
With ovarian cancer, the standard of care (whether after surgery or before) is a “very, very effective” chemotherapy, says Dr. Dana Chase, a gynecologic oncologist at Arizona Oncology.
When ovarian cancer patients are diagnosed, according to Dr. Chase, they are usually given chemotherapy, which puts about 80% of patients into remission, at least for some time.
RELATED: What’s the Best Ovarian Cancer Treatment Path? That Depends on Several Factors
“The current treatment that we’re going to give you, the standard treatment, is in existence because thousands of women have participated in studies,” Dr. Chase notes to SurvivorNet.
After initial treatment which often involves surgery and chemotherapy, your doctor may recommend a form of maintenance therapy, as Sampras mentioned in Bridgette’s treatment plan.
“We use some maintenance therapies with chemo and then continue them after chemo, such as Avastin while others we use after chemo, such as Olaparib,” Dr. Chase explains.
A growing number of women diagnosed with epithelial ovarian cancer are eligible for treatment with a class of drugs called PARP inhibitors. PARP inhibitors are options for women as maintenance therapy after the first chemotherapy or platinum-sensitive recurrence or as a treatment for recurrence.
Cancer Caregivers: The Basics
Assuming the role of a cancer caregiver when a spouse, parent, sibling, child, or friend is diagnosed with cancer comes with a unique set of responsibilities. The first thing to understand is that there is no shame is asking for help. This can be an overwhelming time for both patients and their caregivers, too.
Through interviews with expert oncologists, social workers, patients advocates, and more, we’ve come up with a checklist of helpful steps cancer caregivers can take throughout the journey.
Cancer caregivers may:
- Attend doctor visits with the patient
- Help the patient take notes/ask questions
- Provide transportation to and from treatment
- Accompany the patient during treatment
- Help keep track of side effects
- Link up with a social worker/patient navigator
- Help with day-to-day activities
- Provide emotional support
RELATED: Patrick Dempsey’s Advice to Cancer Caregivers: Take Care of Yourself, Too
How Cancer Caregivers Can Find Time to Care for Themselves
When you suddenly find yourself acting as a cancer caregiver, the lifestyle adjustment can be jarring. Many people welcome the role of cancer caregiver and the opportunity to help out someone they care about deeply but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Filling a caregiver role can be extremely stressful and caregivers often neglect their own needs, which can create a host of additional problems. Experts stress that you will be a better caregiver if you also prioritize caring for yourself. Taking care of your health whether that be with diet, exercise, or making time for activities you enjoy is still crucial.
Julie Bulger gives some tips on how caregivers can care for themselves.
“It is important to have some things that you can do that’s kind of outside of the focus of caring for somebody that you love with cancer,” Julie Bulger, manager of patient and family-centered care at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center in Nashville, told SurvivorNet.
Bulger suggested caregivers find some activities that help them relax like taking a walk or going for a massage.
RELATED: Check Out SurvivorNet’s Resources on Mental Health
“There’s a lot of opportunities for support virtually through educational resources, support communities,” she added. “You can talk to somebody. You can get therapy virtually now.”
When a stressful life event occurs like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer people respond in a variety of ways.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different and healthy ways to cope. For some people, this may mean seeking out traditional therapy, but it’s not the only option.
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik discusses how people may respond to stressors in very different ways.
If you are struggling mentally due to the stress of being a cancer caregiver, there are many options to help you cope. These include:
- Seeking professional help from a psychiatrist or therapist
- Learning healthy coping skills
- Medication such as antidepressants
- Adding more physical activity to your routine
- Adjusting your sleep schedule
- Connecting with others via support groups
- Mindfulness and meditation
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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