Finding Support After a Diagnosis
- Singer Kelly Clarkson, 41, was full of tears on the day of the 48th Annual Grammy Awards, but she wasn’t crying because of her Grammy win. Instead, she was full of emotion after receiving a misdiagnosis for cancer. Her doctor later admitted she didn’t have cancer.
- For cancer patients who receive a confirmed cancer diagnosis, the amount of stress and anxiety they feel can be insurmountable. Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik explains that it is normal for fluid emotions following a diagnosis.
- As you cope with a diagnosis, leaning on your support group filled with loved ones can help you navigate your emotions. It may also be worth seeking help from a mental health professional, which may include talk therapy or medication.
- Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin urges people wishing to comfort loved ones diagnosed with cancer to speak from the heart and empathize with their emotional needs.
- Joining a support group or seeking help from a therapist helps you cope with a diagnosis.
- If you suspect you’ve been misdiagnosed, get a second or third opinion for your diagnosis. By doing this, you advocate for your health and ensure you get the best care you need.
Singer Kelly Clarkson, 41, says on what should have been the most joyous time in her career, she was flooded with emotions after a cancer misdiagnosis. It was the night of the 48th Annual Grammy Awards, and just hours before the show, the “Stronger” singer was told that she had cancer.
“Not many people know this…but I was told that morning that I had cancerous results for something,” Clarkson said on Billboard’s Pop Shop Podcast.
Read More“It was so weird…I don’t even remember anything but being terrified,” she added.
Being told you have cancer is a highly emotional experience. Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik says your emotions will likely be “fluid” after a new diagnosis.
“You may feel fine one day and then feel a massive wave of stress the next,” Dr. Plutchik explains.
“Then when I won, I thought, ‘Oh my God. This is like God giving me one more thing before something horrible happens,” Clarkson said.
The singer went to see her doctor the following day, and amid high emotions, she learned there was a mistake.
“I went to the doctor’s the next day, and they apologized for mixing up results. And I was like, ‘Are you for real?! I was like, ‘You completely ruined my entire [experience].’ The first time for an artist…as a kid watching the Grammys, that was a big dream!” Clarkson said.
She said she was so riled up over the mix-up she “wanted to punch someone.” She questioned why her doctors didn’t test again to ensure the correct diagnosis.
“It was very much a roller coaster ride that day for me. So, it’s kind of unfortunate, but a lot of the moments got stolen from that mishap. But hey, I didn’t have cancer,” she said.
The impact of Clarkson’s cancer scare has remained with her over the years. Since then, she’s become a staunch advocate for cancer patients.
Helping You Cope With a Diagnosis
Although Clarkson experienced a cancer scare, many other people diagnosed with cancer experience a flood of emotions. For cancer patients who received a confirmed cancer diagnosis, the amount of stress and anxiety they feel can be insurmountable. Indeed, the emotions Clarkson felt were challenging but also completely normal, Dr. Plutchik said.
“The patient or person going through the stressful event should accept that emotions will be fluid. It’s also important for those you look to for support, whether that’s a therapist, friends, family, or both, to understand the fluidity of stress-related emotions,” Dr. Plutchik said.
If a stressful event affects your thoughts and feelings, it may be time to seek mental health treatment. This could mean traditional talk therapy, medication, changing lifestyle habits (like exercise and diet), seeking a support group, or many other approaches.
SurvivorNet has four tips to help fuel your coping process.
- Let your family and close friends know and let them help. So many cancer survivors tell us they want and need support but are often too preoccupied to make specific requests. Urge those close to you to jump in with whatever practical help they can offer.
- Keep a journal. It can be highly cathartic to let those feelings loose on paper. Grab a pen and journal and chronicle your thoughts throughout the day.
- Join a cancer support group. There are groups in nearly every community offering opportunities to connect with others going through a similar journey. You’ll learn constructive insight from others who can tell you about what to expect and how to stay strong on tough days.
- Consider seeing a therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist so you can discuss your fears and concerns in a safe space. Often, vocalizing your thoughts and feelings rather than internalizing them can provide relief.
If you ever suspect your diagnosis is off or a misdiagnosis has occurred, do not hesitate to get a second opinion. When you see a doctor for a problem, make sure that all of your questions are fully answered and that you are comfortable with the plan moving forward. From a doctor’s perspective, every problem should have a diagnosis, a treatment, a plan for follow-up, and a plan for what happens next if the treatment doesn’t work.
In addition to making sure you and your doctor are in alignment with your diagnosis and potential treatment, seeking other opinions is equally important. Doctors do not always agree about whether your symptoms might merit further testing and whether specific treatment methods might work best for you.
Supporting a Loved One Diagnosed with Cancer
If someone you know is facing a cancer diagnosis, you may be perplexed about how to support them during such an emotional time.
Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin urges you to speak from your heart.
WATCH: How to talk to someone diagnosed with cancer.
“Rather than using the script that we’ve seen in movies or that we’ve heard other people use, I encourage people to come to the table and say exactly what comes to mind,” she says.
For many people, this might mean admitting you’re unsure what to say. “If you’re somebody who’s afraid to say the right or wrong thing, I’d like you to say that: ‘I’m afraid to say the right or the wrong thing, but I’m here for you.'”
What To Ask Your Doctor
If you have been diagnosed with breast cancer, you may have questions about keeping your strength through treatment. Here are a few questions to help you begin the conversation with your doctor:
- What treatment will I be receiving?
- What side effects are associated with this treatment?
- Are there steps I can take daily to help minimize these side effects?
- What physical activity routine do you recommend for me during treatment?
- Do you have recommendations for someone who doesn’t particularly enjoy exercise?
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