Olympic Figure Skater Tara Lipinski, 42, Had An ‘Athlete Mindset’ Amid Five-Year Struggle With Fertility, Which She Calls ‘The Most Difficult Thing That I’ve Ever Encountered’

“I look back at it like, ‘Oh, you were an athlete, you went to the Olympics.’ That was easy. That was nothing compared to this.”

Lipinski, who was previously diagnosed with endometriosis, a painful disorder that has been associated with infertility, which led to her discovering she had a reproductive immunology issue, dealt with four miscarriages, eight egg retrievals and six failed transfers in an attempt to have her own child.

She explained, “I think the emotional toll it took on me was the hardest part being confronted with so much loss and grief and failure constantly, it really took us a long time to get a win.

“So you just feel like you’re repetitively getting hit and knocked down. And it’s like, how do you just get back up and try again?”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Tara Lipinski (@taralipinski)

The ice skating legend added, “Maybe my athlete mindset kicked in at times because I would go through a miscarriage and not want to get out of bed for two weeks and I would tell my husband, ‘We’re never doing this again. We’re done. This is the end of the road.'”

However, after coping with such emotional losses, Lipinski recounted, “I’d be on the phone, making an appointment where I knew I was getting back in the game.

“Five years is a long time, but when you don’t know what’s ahead, you just go down that same cycle.”

It’s evident how happy Lipinski is feeling after her emotional journey, and it’s something she hasn’t been shy to express on social media. In her first Mother’s Day post, she shared two sweet photos of her holding her daughter, writing, “We did it Georgie girl. You gave me the title of mama….finally.”

“Georgie, you are the best thing I will ever do. The pics that we just snapped sum up what I love most about our days together. It’s the simple and routine moments that are filled with so much magic. A lazy morning of watching you giggle and play while I drink my coffee or a warm cuddly nap after an ocean dip. This is what I’ve been waiting for. I love being your mama….my greatest role yet.”

She continued, “Today is about mothers but really all I can think about is you. I feel so much pride that YOU did it. YOU came into my life. YOU are the one I am celebrating today. And now that we know your spirited soul we should have realized there was no way you weren’t making it earth-side. Gigi you are magic.

“Mother’s Day reminds me of my greatest wish- to be the best mommy I can be to you. I love you Gigi. Also I can’t forget to honor my 6 embabies and 4 pregnancies that I carried even if it was just for a short time. I wonder often who you would have been but know that Georgie is making you all proud as our rainbow baby. To all the mama’s in waiting I see you today. I still can feel that awful ache if I think back too much. I’m sorry this day hurts for you, it doesn’t feel fair but please know I am rooting for you.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Tara Lipinski (@taralipinski)

Tara Lipinski’s Journey With Surrogacy

It’s heartwarming to know that Lipinski’s determination paid off in various aspects of her life, not only her figure skating accolades, but the goal to have her own child.

Last year, Lipinski opened up to People about the fertility struggle both she and her director and producer husband have gone through.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by ToddKap (@toddkap)

She recalled that during her daughter’s birth, she felt very emotional while playing Dave Matthews’ “You and Me.”

Lipinski had four miscarriages, various unsuccessful attempts at in vitro fertilization transfers and two surgeries stemming from endometriosis, she previously explained on social media last August.

She wrote, “My husband and I have seemingly hit every roadblock imaginable from the moment we began this process in 2018 and since then I have been under anesthesia 24 times, have had 4 miscarriages, 4 D&C’s, 6 failed IVF transfers, 8 retrievals and a diagnosis of endometriosis that led me to 2 major surgeries.

“It has been an excruciatingly painful journey that has been filled with loss & dealing with the grief that comes along with that.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Tara Lipinski (@taralipinski)

In another heartwarming social media post, Lipinski captioned a video clip of her holding Georgie Winter, “Literally the moments that I dreamed of for so long.”

The ice skating star’s Instagram page is filled with loving images of her daughter. She also recently shared a photo of her daughter wearing a T-shirt reading “Mommy’s Little Ice Skater,” and Lipinski wrote, “Meet Georgie Winter. We are so grateful that we get to make this announcement that our baby girl is here. It feels so surreal and I’m experiencing a feeling of happiness that I have never felt before.

“This little embryo that Todd and I made together has come to life! We are so grateful and forever thankful for our surrogate. Mikayla, thank you for carrying her safely into our arms.”

Looking back on her difficult five-year surrogacy, she continued, “I can’t help but think of all those shots, surgeries, multiple retrievals to replenish all of the miscarriages and failed transfers I endured, the miscarriages that felt like they broke me more and more each time and to the times that Todd and I thought are our dream would never come true.”

RELATED: 6 Cancer Survivors Tell Us How They Stay Hopeful During Difficult Times

“I wish we never went through it but I’m grateful that somehow I found the strength to keep going when I thought I couldn’t because we got very lucky. Georgie, we have thought about you for half a decade. You are so loved. You are EVERYTHING,” she said, with some positive words for those dealing with fertility struggles, adding, “Ps. For anyone still in the wait, I’m sorry for what you are going through. I see you and I know the pain you are going through – I’m rooting so hard for you all.”

Understanding Endometriosis

Endometriosis can be a very painful disorder. Essentially what happens is the abnormal tissue outside of your uterus thickens, breaks down and bleeds with each menstrual cycle. But because this tissue has no way to exit your body like normal endometrial tissue, it becomes trapped. This can cause cysts, irritation and scar tissue and adhesions abnormal bands of fibrous tissue that can cause pelvic tissues and organs to stick to each other to form.

This disorder has been associated with infertility, just with Tara Lipinski’s case.

The Massachusetts General Hospital states that “between 30-50% of people with endometriosis may experience infertility.

“The normal chance of getting pregnant each month for people with no endometriosis is approximately 10-20%, while people with surgically documented endometriosis have a chance of only 1-10%,” the hospital explains.

According to the National Institutes of Health, “The word endometriosis comes from the word ‘endometrium’—endo means ‘inside,’ and metrium means “uterus,” where a mother carries her baby. Healthcare providers call the tissue that lines the inside of the uterus the endometrium.”

Endometriosis usually occurs on or near reproductive organs in the pelvis or abdomen, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine. Other areas is can be found in are the fallopian tubes, ligaments around the uterus (uterosacral ligaments), lining of the pelvic cavity, ovaries, outside surface of the uterus, space between the uterus and the rectum or bladder.

In rare circumstances, it can also grow on and around the bladder, cervix, intestines, rectum, stomach (abdomen), and vagina or vulva.

Fertility and Cancer Treatment

Infertility can be a side effect of endometriosis, as well as some cancer treatments, but there are options to consider. Fertility preservation, for example, is available to women of childbearing age. Options for women include:

• Egg and embryo freezing (the most common practice)
• Ovarian tissue freezing
• Ovarian suppression to prevent the eggs from maturing so that they cannot be damaged during treatment.
• Ovarian transposition, for women getting radiation to the pelvis, to move the ovaries out of the line of treatment.

How Does Chemotherapy Affect Fertility?

No matter what course of action you choose to take, it is important that all women feel comfortable talking about their options prior to cancer treatment.

In an earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Dr. Jaime Knopman said time was precious when dealing with fertility preservation for women with cancer. Basically, the sooner the better when it comes to having these important fertility conversations with your doctor.

Dr. Terri Woodard Discusses Options For Preserving Fertility After Cancer

“The sooner we start, the sooner that patient can then go on and do their treatment,” Dr. Knopman said. “A lot of the success comes down to how old you are at the time you froze and the quality of the lab in which your eggs or embryos are frozen in.”

Surrogacy and Gestational Carriers

In some cases after battling a condition like endometriosis or undergoing cancer treatment, women may have difficulty giving birth to a child or they may be unable to at all. Having someone else carry their baby may be an option, either through surrogacy or a gestational carrier.

According to the National Cancer Institute, a surrogate pregnancy is “a type of pregnancy in which a woman carries and gives birth to a baby for a person who is not able to have children.”

“In a surrogate pregnancy, eggs from the woman who will carry the baby or from an egg donor are fertilized with sperm from a sperm donor to make an embryo,” the institute explains.

“The embryo is implanted in the uterus of the surrogate mother, who carries the baby until birth. Surrogate pregnancy may be an option for men or women who want to have children and have had certain anticancer treatments, such as chemotherapy or radiation therapy, that can cause infertility.”

As for a gestational carrier, the institute describes this person as a “woman who carries and gives birth to a baby for a person who is not able to have children.”

“Eggs from an egg donor are fertilized in the laboratory with sperm from a sperm donor to make an embryo,” the institute explains. “The embryo is implanted in the uterus of the gestational surrogate, who carries the baby until birth. The gestational surrogate (or carrier) is not genetically related to the baby and is not the biological mother.”

If you or someone you know is deciding on whether or not to go the route of surrogacy or gestational carrier, it’s important to know that each state has different laws and it may be necessary to speak with an attorney before moving forward.

Resilience Through Adversity

We truly admire Tara Lipinski’s determination to have a child of her own after her years-long fertility journey, which is why we’d like to point out how SurvivorNet specializes in covering the lives of people who overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles. It’s looking at the positive side of things that helps them maintain their resilience.

WATCH: Defining and Building Resilience

Dr. Zuri Murrell, an oncologist at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, previously spoke to SurvivorNet about the role of a positive outlook on survival rates, saying, “I’m pretty good at telling what kind of patient are going to still have this attitude and probably going to live the longest, even with bad, bad disease. And those are patients who, they have gratitude in life.”

Resilience is an important trait, but not the easiest to build. The ultimate goal is not to avoid tough times, but to be able to bounce back from them. And yet, when they are faced with an overwhelming, life-changing situation, how do people shift their view? How do they learn to see the problem as temporary, rather than permanent, and figure out a solution?

It’s complicated, because building resilience is more about your mental and emotional fortitude than anything else. According to the American Psychological Association, “the resources and skills associated with more positive adaptation (i.e., greater resilience) can be cultivated and practiced.” In other words, resilience is not something you’re born with, which should be encouraging. Instead, after every challenge in your life, you build more and more resilience to those hard times.

You can build resilience the way you build muscle – through patience and steady exercise of the skill. Here are some lessons taken from Fischer, Runkel, and Soller, all who have spoke with SurvivorNet in earlier interviews.

• Be willing to learn. If one way doesn’t work, find a different way. If an obstacle lands in your way, build a path around it or over it. In Resilience, one of the athletes says, “You always have to be learning. Otherwise, life gets stagnant.” The more you learn, the more you grow and growth is a sign of resilience.
• Spend time with people who inspire you. Our world is filled with people who overcome challenges, and their success can energize you to overcome your own. Think about famous people who hava faced adversity and did not give up Stephen King actually threw his manuscript, Carrie, in the trash because it had been rejected by publishers so many times. His wife encouraged him to keep sending it out, and he finally sold it in 1974 launching a massively successful career as a novelist. Take the time to read and learn about the lives of Helen Keller, Jackie Robinson, Bethany Hamilton, Nelson Mandela, and others.
• Allow yourself to grieve. Don’t push away or dismiss your frustration and sadness. Ben Fischer says that life can be filled with lots of crying, but “Those cries make us stronger.”
• Be flexible. Abandon the idea that there is only one solution or that you must stick to your original plan. The best solution or plan is the one that eventually works. You may need to change your original plan as the circumstances change.
• Lean in to your community. Your friends, colleagues, and family are invaluable, and when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed by a problem, their support can carry you. The Harvard Study of Adult Development is the longest study of human well-being. Many news outlets have covered its results, which show that maintaining strong, healthy relationships helped people live longer lives.   Psychiatrist and author Dr. Samantha Boardman tells SurvivorNet that connecting with and contributing to the lives of other people are two of “the three wellsprings of vitality” (the third is feeling positively challenged).

How to Turn Stress into Strength

If you’ve been through a difficult health challenge or any type of adversity throughout your live,  Dr. Boardman told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview that one way to get your mental health back in check after a diagnosis is to try to play up your strengths.

“I sometimes will ask patients, tell me about yourself when you were at your best,” she explained. “Using that story, trying to figure out what strengths come to mind. Is it patience? Is it appreciation of beauty? It is perseverance? [Then we can] use those strengths in constructive ways to navigate their cancer journey.”

Dr. Boardman says another way to approach harnessing the strength you already have is by tapping into your values. This could be family, close friendships, spirituality, or commitment to a healthy lifestyle.

Reminding yourself of what your values are and how you are living accordingly is another way to unleash that inner strength.

Lastly, patients shouldn’t underestimate the value of simply opening up, Dr. Boardman says. This could mean speaking to a close family member or friend, or it could mean seeking support in other ways by finding a therapist that meets your needs or looking into joining a support group.

Having negative feelings throughout a health struggle is to be expected, however, doctors will tell you that people who find a way to work through the emotions and stay positive tend to have better outcomes.

Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff

Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.

---