Body Image, Aging, & Finding Your Comfort Zone
- Actress and TV personality Valerie Bertinelli, 64, is showing her raw, authentic self in an inspiring post about acceptance, reflecting on her physical and mental journey with health and now proudly showing her body’s natural state.
- The former Food Network host — who was married to the late rock ‘n’ roll icon Eddie Van Halen, with whom she shares a son, Wolfie Van Halen, 33 — shared a bathroom mirror shot wearing nothing put a simple black bra and underwear, her face bare and hair undone.
- If you are suffering with body image issues, know that you are not alone; it is especially common with people dealing with health challenges — whether cancer or another type of illness. Our experts important you try to work on how you view your body because it can positively impact your emotional and physical well-being as a whole.
The former Food Network host — who was married to the late rock ‘n’ roll icon Eddie Van Halen, with whom she shares a son, Wolfie Van Halen, 33 — shared a mirror shot standing in her New York City hotel bathroom, wearing nothing put a simple black bra and underwear, her face bare and hair undone, tilting her head with a soft smile.
Read More
Musical artist Carnie Wilson of the band Wilson Phillips, who has also publicly struggled with her appearance, simply stated, “I wish I had that body.” And as for Carnie’s sister, Mackenzie, she got a bit more protective. “To anyone asking why, back the f*uck off of my little sister. Val, you look wonderful.”
This physical and mental metamorphosis of acceptance has been a journey in progress, as Valerie noted in her November 22 post, “two years of working to find my true self” after “self-loathing.”
She has even retrained her relationship with food. Just ahead of Valerie’s Indulge cookbook release in April, the former One Day at a Time star and two-time Golden Globe winner told PEOPLE that she had stopped counting calories, and true to her book’s title, will no longer deprive herself of an “indulgence.”
“I have stopped counting calories, and I stopped thinking of certain foods as good or bad,” Valerie shared.
“I quit saying no and began saying yes. And I let myself indulge,” she added.
Self-Acceptance and Body Image
Body image problems are not unusual, especially for so many people dealing with health challenges — whether cancer or another type of illness.
And it’s important you try to work on how you view your body because it can positively impact your emotional and physical well-being as a whole.
“Every day of our lives is really filled with uncertainty” but those facing a cancer diagnosis tend to feel that uncertainty at a more extreme level, Dr. William Breitbart, the chair of the Department of Psychology and Behavioral Sciences at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, previously told SurviorNet.
Dr. Breitbart also said that learning to embrace that uncertainty is a part of living, not just for those fighting cancer, but for everyone.
“What the task becomes is having the courage to live in the face of uncertainty, realizing that you cannot necessarily control the uncertainty in life, like the suffering that occurs, challenges both good and bad,” Dr. Breitbart says.
“You may not be able to control those but you have control over how you choose to respond.”
Meanwhile, Dr. Marianna Strongin, a New York-based licensed clinical psychologist, also has some helpful advice. She encourages people that spending time in front of the mirror can help with body image.
Celebrity Stylist and Cancer Survivor Ann Caruso on Beauty and Femininity
Although “research has found that when looking in the mirror we are more likely to focus on the parts of our body we are dissatisfied with” which can cause “a negative self-view and lower self-esteem,” it’s important to look at the parts of your body that you love and the parts of your body that you don’t.
Eventually, Dr. Strongin says, doing so can help you create a more accepting relationship with yourself.
“Body image is both the mental picture that you have of your body and the way you feel about your body when you look in a mirror,” she said. “As you allow yourself to spend more time looking at all of you, you will begin having a new relationship with your body.”
RELATED: My Confidence Was Destroyed: Dealing With Body Image During Cancer Treatment
Whether you are living with cancer or some other type of illness, it’s important to know you’re not alone if you’re having a hard time with how you view your body after receiving a diagnosis or going through treatment.
Learning About Positive Psychology
Another way to cope with body image and mental health is through positive psychology, an approach to mental well-being that focuses more on a person’s strengths and how they can help themselves rather than just trying to curb individual symptoms and/or diagnose a disorder.
“It is a fundamental sort of different way of thinking about patients, thinking about their experience,” Dr. Samantha Boardman, a New York-based psychiatrist and author, told SurvivorNet. “It’s not just focusing on what’s the matter. It’s also asking them, what matters to you?”
Dr. Boardman noted that positive psychology is a reimagined approach to dealing with mental struggles. “Making people feel less bad is not the same as making them feel good,” she said, referring to how this new approach encourages people to try to find happiness rather than just try to stop sadness.
This approach can be a major benefit to people who are dealing with an illness like cancer because it focuses on finding those great parts of life.
“Positive emotions have unique benefits above and beyond managing negative emotions,” Dr. Boardman explained.
“Sometimes you can treat a patient and get rid of some of their symptoms, and it’s not necessarily then that you find a flourishing patient you might even get an empty patient. So, really tapping into those resources where do they find positive emotions? What provides a sense of engagement for them? How can you promote positive relationships?”
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
If you are struggling with body image and mental health, here are some questions you may consider asking your doctor:
- Are there interventions beyond medication for my depressed or anxious feelings?
- How can I go about finding and nourishing positive emotions?
- What can I do if I’m struggling to maintain a sense of positivity?
- What lifestyle factors can I adjust to feel better mentally?
Contributing by SurvivorNet Staff
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.
